We Were Dreamers

He was Beautiful

Chapter 7

"He really was beautiful.

I know boys aren't supposed to be,

But he was."

-Hazel Grace, The Fault in our Stars.

I really missed drawing and painting but I really did not want Daddy to punish me again so the next time we were in the park, I asked Landon to give me a page from his sketch pad and some pencils. He was all too willing to oblige. Then I asked him if I could draw him.

So he drew the park and I drew him. That gave me an awesome view of his lovely face. I drew his cheekbones and his beautiful blue eyes and the way a lock of his hair fell over the right side of his temple. I drew the strong curves of his shoulders and the muscles that bunched under the fabric of his grey shirt every time he moved.

I liked the drawing when I had finished but it wasn't as extraordinary as his had been. But even so, he praised it as though it had been awesome. But anyway, I didn't get compliments everyday so I just basked in the glow of it. I gave him the drawing to keep. I told him to consider it as a gift.

The next day, he shared his art supplies with me again.

" I figured you probably lost yours and felt too embarrassed to tell me." He said good naturedly.

I could not have been more thankful. I always felt so much better once I drew.

Unknowingly, I began looking forward to seeing Landon everyday after school. We always drew together. Sometimes I just read because I didn't want him to feel like he was obligated to share his stuff with me. Though he said he did not mind, I still preferred it that way.

And that was how the week passed in a blur. I did not get into any trouble with Daddy or anyone. If all weeks were like that, I guess life would have been quite normal.

The next week came by. Monday was my day. I went through the pain like routine. I got home. I changed. I went to his room. He cut me up. I cried. He went on as if nothing had gone wrong while he just broke me a little more inside.

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Summer rolled by and Landon and I became good friends. I still did not confide in him. It seemed I knew so much about him and he knew absolutely nothing about me.

I knew that he lived with his mother and younger sister. His father had left them when they had been babies. His mother had raised them both us, working two jobs a day to earn enough money for their schooling. I know they had been through hard times but now they were better.

When he tried asking me about myself, I normally managed to twist the conversation back at him and he never seemed to notice. Well, I did not mind. I loved talking to him. I loved hearing about him. He was like my best friend. Heck. He was my only friend.

I only told him the normal things about me. I lived with my parents. No siblings. The street I lived on. I told him about school. I told him I had once had a pet cat but it died. I did not tell him HOW it died. Daddy had just brutally murdered it. I did not tell him how my eight year old self had sobbed over Snowball's trembling body as the life left it. I did not tell him the blood haunted my life and nightmares till it was now a part of me. I let him live with the illusion that I had a normal life. Because that was exactly how I wished things had been.

I knew I could not have hidden this from him for long. There was just something about him that drew me towards him. I tried to fight it but God knows it was meant to happen.

One evening after school in the park, it was really hot so I had taken off my jumper. I was wearing a long sleeved t shirt underneath so everything was well hidden. I was drawing my Mamma that day. Out of memory. It was really hot, I had not realized that I had pushed my sleeves up.

My hands were fully exposed. Oh no. The moment I noticed that, I hurriedly pulled my sleeves down, hoping Landon had not seen anything.

He held my hand in a vice like grip. There was no way to escape this now.

"What is this?" He demanded, raising the sleeves of my t shirt so he could see better. "All these?! What have you been doing to yourself?" I just shook my head sadly." So you haven't been doing this?" I nodded. "Then talk to me, Marissa please. I won't tell, I promise."

That was it. The waterworks started. For eight years, I had never let anyone in and I guess it was finally time for that.