Villainess Reborn: Poppy

Poppy: Two-Use to it

It hasn't been a full hour when one of my family maid, Irene, found me in the meadow of wild poppies. I don't know what I was doing when Irene found me but ever since she found me she has been looking at me like I would kill myself. Hahaha, I guess that isn't far from truth but you know.

All I remember doing was staring off in the horizon deep in my thoughts. My thoughts was an absolute train wreck, though. I guess you can say that my thou-my thoughts. I had a habit when I was younger.

Did you know that when I was younger and in deep thought, I would always speak it out loud? I grew out of it but I would still sometimes do it when my thoughts gets really deep and I suppose remembering what had happened to me in my first life made me fall in deep thought.

So anyway, my thoughts were all kind off not nice. You can say that I was thinking multiple ways of killing myself-both painlessly and painfully. I really didn't want this second chance. I'm thankful but I absolutely don't need it.

Irene keep looking at me every second and it's getting a bit weird. She keeps staring at me as if she would suck my soul out of my body-if that's possible I hope she does. I guess that means that I was mumbling off ways to kill myself and she has heard it. I really don't know what to feel about that.

All my life, I learned how to keep my emotions in check. My mask was always there twenty-four hours seven times a week. It never breaks nor does it crack-like, it's thicker than the goddam wall of China!

Enough about that, Irene-whose holding my hand as we walk back into my family's mansion-like villa, has long straight ashy blonde hair that always in a bun and beautiful dark baby blue eyes. She was a gorgeous person though her personality is a bit strict.

I, on the other hand, have shoulder-length silky smooth raven hair with almond shape obsidian black eyes and soft white milky skin. I love my hair and eye color, I still do. To me, it always help me fit in the darkness of the night a lot better than bright blonde hair-not that there's anything wrong with it and all.

On a completeLy off topic paragraph, do you know that Spanish cartoon girl Dora? I have her hair style except better. I don't have her bangs and my hair is wild and messy, unlike many little fucking perfect hair. Though I do wish that I could just go on adventure like hers-except a lot more dangerous and a lot less more childish that doesn't involve emotions at all.

No emotions involve because a) I suck at emotions and I don't like them and I cannot
show my emotion at will, b) emotions are a hassle. I had to bottle up my emotions for so many years and it was just so much of a haste-also that isn't healthy.

If you are depress though or hate yourself...I don't give a flying fuck. It's not my problem that you don't like yourself-then again I hate me also, so on the bright side! We could be depress buddies: please write d if you wish to join the depress buddy group chat!

D. Congrats to myself! I am officially depress, Yay! Just in case you can't tell, I was being sarcastic. Back on topic-if we did ever have a topic- the villa is gigantic! And also high tech. That's thanks to my family's occupation, however, Irene is still goddamn looking at me every fucking second!

'Irene! Please! For the love of everything stop!!!!!' I wanted to tell her that but I knew better than to speak my mind so I keep my mouth shut. I really don't get people. I don't think I ever have and ever will.

One moment they're there for you, the next they're stabbing you in the back. One moment they don't give a single fuck about you the next they're looking at you in worry like your their world. Ha! Pea-lease! That shit is out-dated! If you think you can fool me again-well think twice.

Not this time! Not this time... I won't fall for the same trick twice. I won't and will never again associate myself as part of the Starlight family, after all, I'm just the unwanted child. The abandoned, unwanted, and unneeded child. The child that everyone could live without.

Because I had hoped and wished to be love, I was fooled. Just because I let my emotions and heart take control of my body rather than my brain, I was hurt. Because I was childish I was hurt! Over and over and over again! Well, not this time! Not this time...

Because I don't think I can ever handle getting hurt the same way I was hurt back then all over again. I would rather die. Die again than go through that. No more. Even a villain has their breaking point.

    People sometimes forget: even villains have emotions and there were once normal. Normal children with eyes full of light. Light that was taken away-just like me. But that's alright. Because right now, I'm used to it. I'm used to it...