Villainess Reborn: Poppy

Poppy: Fifteen-Pain

     The first day I was reborn was half a year before my sixth birthday. Can you believe that? Half a year went by like that is flash! I was kept in a cell for half  a year as someone's guinea pig and survived! I didn't think that half a year would pass by.

     I didn't think things would turn out this way but I am wondering if my family thinks I'm dead. Fun fact, my name is Poppy, curtesy to what Eliana and the others said. That's also how I found out that I've been stuck in the hell hole for a half a year.

     They said that when I was kidnapped, the whole entire Starlight family went crazy trying to find me. Those who was involved was instantly annihilated by my family and no one could say anything.

     I was wondering if they were talking about my family and I was about to asked them but when I saw how Eliana was looking at me with narrowed eyes, I just kept my mouth shut. You can't blame me. They don't sound like the family I knew.

In my first life, my family was indifferent to me. I always felt left out because they never told me anything that was happening. It always made me wonder if I was adopted or a bastard's son.

My older sister was always on the spot and my other siblings were always a lot better than me-as portrayed by the world. I always felt angry whenever I saw how happy they were without me. When she came along I just felt even worse.

It was as if they replace me with her-out with the old and in with the new. She was like me, except better and more perfect. It made me even angrier but then, mom got sick. She got sick and just like her I got sick of feeling angry.

I got sick of the emotion of anger and I threw it away and never used it. Anger only makes things worse-there's no point in showing anger, it won't help with anything. Even till now,I have never use anger.

Thinking of mom again, I truly wanted to see her. I wanted too see the woman I idolized so dearly. The woman who actually made me want to try. The woman who gave me hope and life. I just wanted too see mom as the strong woman she was before she got sick.

I know I sound like a jerk because I didn't want to see mom as the sick person she was and only the healthy one but for once-I would like to remember the woman I never got to remember.

Eliana and the others kept quiet as they raced through the forest and out of the city and dash faster than Rudolf could ever. We were stealthy and no one noticed us but I wondered, what was the point. What was the point of-you know-all of this? What was my point?

I hugged Eliana and covered my face in her fur as her legs sprinted towards my home. Eliana and the others didn't say anything but I knew that they were worried about me. I felt it in my heart. I'm really glad that they didn't say anything though. If they had I would have broken down.

I know I'm not suppose to show weakness, or even cry but now that I have time to think what had happened to me...I felt...off. I didn't like it at all. It feels like I no longer have control over my body and emotions and I hated it.

Anger and sadness-I have no need for those emotions. I don't need the, but I feel so angry and sad! I feel angry that I'm not strong enough to shrug it of. I'm sad that the pain I felt the is still lingering in my body even when it was over. What's wrong with me?

I was fine. My wounds has healed and I was no longer in mortal danger! But...I felt so disgusted. There was no pain but it was still there! I want it to stop but it doesn't! ...Will is ever stop? I really want it to stop.

I sobbed into Eliana and there was only nothing but silence. I heard nothing but silence and it lured me to sleep. It was an uncomfortable sleep but i felt like that was the only thing that made the pain go away. I wish I could sleep like this forever.

While I was in there, sleep did always made the pain go away. I knew for a fact that I'd did dream whenever I slept but I never remembered. All I knew was that whatever those dreams was, I felt safe in it. I felt happy. Sleep was the medicine but the dreams-they were the cure.