Whispers : BTS

shiver

I drove in anticipation singing along to the song on the radio. I didn't speak to him for a while - the next time he texted me I ignored it.

The first day of ignoring him he was fine.

The second day; he was not.

-*

My phone vibrated silently beside me on the couch and an unidentifed caller stared back at me. Ive never answered one and I wouldn't start now. I went back to my tv show I was half into; and it rang again.

I put the phone on silent.

I did check my phone twice, checking to see if perhaps my mother or a friend was the one calling. No voicemail was left - but I wouldn't have listened to it anyways. I was starting to worry... trying to check off friends and family in my head.

The third time I saw it flash, I picked up.

"Hello?" I disguised my voice as I spoke and cringed to myself at how I sounded.

"Hey." He laughed at my greeting.

My heart dropped at the sound of his voice. It wasnt that I had forgotten he could call, I had just forgotten he could call me.

"Oh hey." I repeated his words nonchalantly settling my back against the couch, wishing I had gone the "who is this?" route.

"How are you?" He questioned after a moment of silence. I guess he realized he called me.

I smiled to myself, he seemed embarrassed at first to speak to me over the phone. This wasn't the first time he had called; but this was the first time he had ever asked me that question.

Normally quick and to the point; the small talk was sending messages I didn't care to answer.

"Watching a cooking show." I grinned truthfully. "I'm on episode 3 and there are 8." I explained wondering if he even had any idea or care about it.

"Hmmm." He hummed lowly into the line and I got my answer. I sighed silently knowing what was coming next. "Well you should come over." He suggested.

"I can't." I said uninterested. "My show." I glanced at the TV and had missed enough to know I needed to pause.

"What if I came over?" He spoke over my receiver and my breath hitched. My eyes searched the room for an answer as I clutched my remote in one hand and the phone in the other.

Pause.

This was happening quickly. He spoke my name and I crashed to reality quickly.

This was new.

He has never once wanted to come to my place. My domain, my world. He wanted more and I knew this but was determined to follow the rules no matter how fucked up this entire situation became. But the rules didn't have to answer to him most times; only me. I couldn't comprehend what was happening.

"I dunno." I mumbled, setting the remote down beside me on the pillow. "I ..no." I decided quietly - yet he heard.

"Then come over here." He complained in a childish whine. I was being rude now; yet slowly giving in as he slowly beat down my walls with his adorable relentless persistance.

I never would be able to say no, we both knew that, but he also knew I was a fighter. I was scared to death to break his heart and vice versa. My heart was already broken. I had to keep his heart whole. This was just sex, we weren't supposed to have crushes or feelings. Just two adults doing what adults did best.

"Please?" He begged and could hear the arrogance in his voice. He had won, I wasnt going to argue anymore. I didn't put up much of a fight this time.