New Destiny

Chapter 4

"Master ?"

"Yes Koplan ?"

He paused, his lips slightly open, ready to speak. Never did he thinks he would be in this situation. In his bed, his Master beside him with no dirty meaning behind it. He slept back to back with whom he considers to be his mother, still feeling like a little child who had crumble in her bed in the middle of the night. It's been a week now, a week since he discovered Anakin's secret. He didn't mean to but after the battle of Geonosis, he help Anakin getting use to his prosthetic arm, and another vision strike him while touching it. Senator Padmé Amidala... Who would guess ? He let a sad chuckle at his reflexion as he remembers what he saw after their kiss.

"Padawan ? Are you okay ?" Master Hoebe turn to face him.

"Master... Have you ever loved ?"

Woh, she was expecting everything but that ! She frowned, looking at the zabrak lying on his back. Every time she looks at him, she saw the little kid who cried when he didn't success a school project, who cuddle with her after a nightmare or laugh with Anakin when paying at hide and seek in the Temple. How he had grown. Now a man, in and out, taller than her, wiser, smarter and mature. Some day she wishes he'll become this little boy again, with his eyes filled with innocence.

"Excuse me ?" she said with wide eyes.

"It's not about me. But I always wonder... Do Jedi love ?"

"Attachement is forbidden Padawan. Love at his purest is forbidden. But that doesn't mean we are not living being. It is in our nature to love, what make us Jedi is what we decided to do about it."

"I understand." he muttered. "Master ?"

"Mhmh ?"

He turns to his side, face to her. He could sense his eyes burning, reliving each of his nightmare... day and night. At first he tried to fight it, but it turns to be more painful for him than ever. Now he just accepted his fate, letting the Force show him what it wants him to see, pain or not. What he didn't tell her, was the recent vision of his presume torture then death which haunted his thoughts.

"I love you..." He looked at her, feeling suddenly so young. Anakin never tells him but he knew that Anakin's mother died in his arms, and it destroyed him. Well, Koplan never knew his biological mother, a Nighsister surely. Master Hoebe was all he has even if he felt guilty about it, he loves her. But Jedi can't love right ? They don't form attachments. They don't have family. They are selfless. Right ? "I know I shouldn't but-... "

"Oh Koplan." she wraps her arms around his head and brought his forehead against her shoulder. He responded with his hand behind her back, leaning over her like a scared little boy. He felt tears filling his eyes as the vision play again and again in his mind.

"Koplan, what is it ? Is it another vision ?" she asked as she wipes his tears off with her hand. He shook his head, unable to look at her knowing what would happen in the future. "Koplan. Remember the promise we wake to each other ? No secrets, we tell each other everything."

With a sigh, he let go of her, resting again on his back as he began his story.

"I saw... no, I felt myself being torture. In a dark room, surrender by droid parts, I was chain with force-inibhitor. I-I... I tried not to collapse, I tried to stay awa-awake." His breath quicken as his muscles contract by the ghost pain that run in his body. "Master, I don't want to die... "

A powerful flow of fear and sadness passed over their bond making Master Hoebe tremble. "Padawan, remember your teaching, there is no death, there is the Force." Her own voice didn't sound quite convincing but it was her role to guide him in the Jedi way, even if she didn't belive in it herself. He didn't respond, sobbing silently against her shoulder. After a moment, she took the courage to ask.