Angel (Book 4)

Chapter 7. Funeral

Death is painful for loved ones. I imagine it's peaceful for the departed. The death of my parents taught me just how fragile life was.

Part of me felt angry at my father for getting him, and my mother killed. The other part of me felt terrible for feeling that way.

The long black dress fit me snuggly. The sleeves of the dress flared out. The hat and the veil seemed unnecessary, but I was glad to hide my face. I hated people seeing me cry. I made sure to put on waterproof make-up.

I couldn't believe I had to deal with the death of my parents at nineteen. I took a deep breath as I stared at myself in the mirror. I turned and walked out of the bathroom.

Cecilia was sitting there on my bed, waiting for me. "Are you holding up?"

"Somewhat," I said.

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks," I mumbled and looked away. I wasn't sure how many times I would hear that today, but I was sure I would get tired of hearing it. It isn't as if a hundred or more people apologizing for my loss is going to make me feel better.

We headed down to my car. I asked Cecilia to come for support. I wasn't sure who else to ask at this point. I drove the car out of the parking lot.

"Zayden is wondering how you are doing," Cecilia said.

I sighed. "I'm tired of hearing about Zayden."

"Sorry," Cecilia muttered. "He just cares about you, Mia. It isn't exactly the worst thing in the world."

"Look, I know. I can't jump into Zayden's arms after I spent the past couple of weeks with Angel, though," I said. "I don't like Zayden that way."

"It changed things a lot, didn't it?"

"It's like literally opening up a wound. It's like having stitches and someone cutting them wide open. It's fucking hell," I said. "It was so hard to get over it the first time. I'm not even sure I was completely over it the first time. I'm just not sure how long it's going to take. Until further notice, I am off-limits to any man."

"Wow," she murmured. "You really loved Angel?"

"I still do," I said and sighed. "Look, I can't talk about this. Time to change the subject," I said as I tried to rub the ache away, that was in my chest. "As a matter of fact, there is something I should tell you."

"What's that?" She asked.

"I'm thinking about going back to Texas. I need a change of scenery. I need a big change," I muttered. I gave her a side glance.

Cecilia was staring at me, wide-eyed. "What? Tell me you're kidding. Why? I would miss you so much. We would all miss you, Mia." Her voice came out frantic.

"I'll come back and visit you. I'm not leaving until the end of the summer anyway. It's just after all of this, I need to get out of California," I said.

"You said you didn't have to run from those men anymore. You said Angel took care of it. Does it have to do with that?" Cecilia's forehead creased with worry.

"No, of course not. I told you that is over. Angel did take care of that. I'll be fine. I just need something different. My entire life, I felt like I was searching for something. When I met Angel, I thought my searching was over, but then we broke up. It's like searching for something all over again, something that doesn't exist. I really need to be with family right now too. I have aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents down there," I explained.