Unwritten

feb 7th 2013

this is a date I will never forget. A date that will be forever scarred into the depths of my hollow heart. Its a date that will always be in the back of head; its the day my sister slipped away.

I was in geography class, working on a map that I was starting to become frustrated with when my home room teacher came into the room. He was supposed to be in a meeting, I figured considering the supply teacher was yapping away in the front. I didn't pay much attention so when he reached over my desk and patted me on the arm with a surrowful look sketched upon his face, it startled me.

"Somebody is here to pick you up." I scrunched my eyebrows in distaste; wondering who it could be and why. I nodded my head twice and began to put everything away, "Don't worry about it, just get your things from your locker and go." Certainly, he was acting strange and the note of his voice showed concern.

So as I rushed down the steps to the office with my unzipped bag wide open and my jacket stuffed in my arms, I started to panic. My anxiety was kicking in and the most stupidest of my thoughts rung in my head. What if its a kidnapper coming to get me? I knew damn well it wasn't my mother because our vechile was in repairment that day.

So when I turned the corner to see my moms good friend, Angela standing there, I was stunned. For a moment, I stopped sweating with uneasiness until she spoke those six words.

"Your sister is in the hospital." The minute those words had left her mouth, my heart thumped madly against my chest and my throat went dry. I mean, I understand that my sister was a clutz and she often got so many injury's but it had to be more serious then a simple injury if I had to be pulled out from school.

As I followed Angela out of the building and into her car, I couldn't help but think of all the possibilities. Was she hit with a bus? Did she lose lots of blood? Did she get gangraped? Was she diagnosed with a fatal disease? Did they find her unconscious at the side of a ditch?

Angela opened the car door for me and I climbed in, sitting beside my stepdad. His fingers was pinching the bridge of his nose, almost like he was in denial. "Hi," I said to him but he ignored me. Normally, he would greet me in the happiest of ways and hug me until I couldn't breath but the tension in his face and the way his eyes were glued shut, I knew something was terribly wrong.

I twisted my hands in an anxious way as we sped across the city on the highway, the silence was to much to bear. So I began to pray. To whom? The Creator.

In my culture, it is traditional to pray with tabacoo and in our mother tongue. Our beliefs is that we as humans it is our job to take care of the soul the Creator has given us. That it is for The Creator to decide when it is our time to go home, not us. So I prayed in the back seat, begging for my sisters life to be spared. That it is not her time yet.

Little did I know, it was to late.

We pulled up to the emergency section and I raced inside, the hospital was huge and it was hard to find my way but somehow, I managed to get to the second floor in the west corridor to the front desk. I didn't wait for my stepdad who was frantically calling my name.

I stood there helplessly as I waited for the other patients to exit the front desk. But another nurse emerged from the back doors, "Are you guys here to see Kimberly K------?" She asked and we both nodded.

She led us through the backdoors and into a family waiting room. At this point, my anxiety was clawing away at me. I felt like I was going to puke and pass out from the amount of freaking out I felt.

I couldn't wait in some family room. I couldn't just sit and wait to hear from some old doctor and hear the reports of my sisters state. I needed to see her. I needed to know she was okay. Suddenly, I hear my moms cracked voice and I know she's been crying. "My daughter and my husband should be here. Where are they?" Instantly, my stepdad jumps off the seat and disappears behind the closed door. Yet I sit there. Anxious but frozen. I sit there and stare at the floor. I don't blink or even breathe. The way my mother had sounded wasn't good news to me.

Minutes that felt like ages pass by and suddenly I sprang to life. I jump onto my feet and follow the voices of my mom. I see her down the hallway and she immediately shuts up and rushes over to me. When I'm in her reach, she pulls me into a tight hug. Her breathing is staggered and her face is red. The smell of roses fill my nostrils as she runs her fingers through my hair, kissing me lightly on the head.

"You know that Kimberly passed away right?" She said so softly I wasn't sure I heard it. I pull away and look at her dead in the eyes. Immediately my eyes water with tears.

I shake my head, furious. "Your lying to me. Stop this right now. If this is a joke its not funny!" My voice raises into a yell and I back away, refusing to believe them. I refuse to cry. I refuse to show any emotions. Suddenly, I feel the urge to run away. Run as fast as I can from the ugly truth.

I back up into the wall and slide down it, grabbing my hair and wanting to rip it out. This is a nightmare. Wake up! Wake up! My mom catches me before I fall onto the ground and pulls me into the family room. She sits beside me on the seat and finally I'm crying. Softly not loudly. And she cries with me.

"She was wearing this when she passed away this morning at 10:57 am. I want you to keep it." My mother hands me my sisters favorite ring and I hold onto it for dear life.

A nurse appears in the room. "I'm so very sorry for your loss, would you like to see her body?" She says almost like it hurts her. I look at my mother, unsure of what I want. But I nod my head eventually.

I'm shaking as I walk behind the nurse. She leads us to somewhere at the back of the hospital and into a closed off room, I notice that there is two police cops sitting outside the room, both of their faces colorless. I stop breathing as she opens the door

and suddenly my heart shatters into a trillion pieces and the world around me siezes to exist.

I stare at the lifeless body that belongs to my sister. Her curly hair flows past her chest area and her arms are placed neatly beside her. She looked so alive that it was hard to believe she was dead. Forever.

Her lips pressed softly against each other and her eyelids closed, she looks so peaceful, so young.

I screamed and fell onto the cold ground. Everything around me was spinning madly. The sounds of other voices were blocked out from my crying. I whaled and screamed and cried my soul out. I cried until my eyeballs stung with pain and my stomach felt sick to its core.

I yelled at the ceiling, Why her! Why?! What did she do to deserve this?!! This is unfair and cruel!! How could you let this happen?!!!

I knew deep down that the sister I knew my entire life was g o n e for g o o d.

I would never hear her laughter or the way words flowed with charm from her plum lips.

I would never be able to watch her cook up a storm in the kitchen or watch her smile goofily at her phone.

I'd never be able to ask her for girl advice or receive her warm hugs that kept me from falling apart inside when I was having a bad day.

I knew deep down in the pit of my broken heart, that in that moment I wished so deeply that it was me instead of her laying lifeless.