Never Enough

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Why am I never enough?

The ones who are older than I always say I'm trying to hard to grow up.
They say I'm good at pretending to be an adult, good at pretending to be successful, good at pretending to have my shit together.
They also say that it's all fake.

They say I'm just a child wearing adult shoes, they tell me I'm not cut out for the responsibilities that I've taken on.
They tell me that I've bitten off more than I can chew.

But I would rather choke on my dreams than nibble on their idea of success.

Everyone younger than I am
thinks that I'm wise.
They come to me with advice, they unburden themselves of their problems, only to lay them on my shoulders.

They have taken my extended hand and tied anchors too it.
They don't understand that the biggest anchor is already tied to my throat, pulling me down deeper than any of theirs could.
They don't realize that I have my own baggage, and that sometimes I can't handle everyone else's too.

Today is one of those days.
My elders are filling me with doubt while the younger ones are angry that I'm too far underwater to carry their weight.

Why am I never enough?

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