Mirrors

Two

I WOKE UP with a hangover. Apparently, I went to the nearest pub after Lisa broke up with me and left me with an irreparable heart last night. Whoever said that you should drink all the pain away is an idiot, and probably a businessperson trying to leech all of the people's money. No, drinking gave me a bloated stomach instead and a shitty hangover, which made me feel uglier and worse than I already am.

My body wobbled as I stood up from my bed and fought to find my balance. I managed to drag my pathetic self to the bathroom so I can take a quick shower before I head to the Uni. Then I made a mistake by looking into my eyes in the mirror.

Suddenly, I am 7 years old again crying my eyes out because my sister pushed me into the wall too hard. It was a vague memory. My sister was mad because I accidentally spilled my Milo in her notebook.

"You little monster! Why do you always have to ruin everything for me? Do you enjoy it, ruining everyone's life?" she shouted.

I tried to catch my breath so I can respond to her, but all I could muster was a pathetic croak. "I'm sorry, ate. I didn't mean to."

"Didn't mean to?" she went for my collar and dragged me to the table where I spilled the Milo. I closed my eyes as she forced my head onto the small puddle I accidentally made. "Oops, I also didn't mean to." She released me, grabbed her stuff, and ran straight to her room. I tried to chase her to say that I really am sorry, but she slammed her door in my face. Then there was brief darkness and silence.

There was a loud banging from the door, loud enough to pull me back to reality. "Dada, I'm already late for school. You better be quick or else I'll tell mother that you came home late and drunk last night," my little sister, Jamie, threatened.

I forced my body to gather its shit up, but the tremor did not stop. I was on the floor, shaking and crying, pinching myself so that my brain would focus on the pain hoping that it is enough to restart my whole system.

"Da, are you okay? "Jam asked. The concern on her voice noticeable.

The notion of my little sister seeing me like this gave me a surge of energy. She cannot see me like this. And so, I bit my tongue so hard that I can taste the bitterness of my blood in my mouth. Thankfully, the pain was enough to snap me out of it.

"Give me a minute, Jam! Don't worry, I just fell asleep." I immediately replied after gathering my bearings. My sister will never see me like this. Never.

I heard her footsteps fading and the faint thud of my bedroom door. With my adrenaline pumping, I was able to force myself to brush my teeth and take a quick shower. I did this in a short span of time and the last thing I knew was I'm already completely dressed in my oversized black shirt and washed up jeans covering my 5'7, Asian, skinny fat body.

I put on my sneakers, reached for the car keys, and grabbed my favorite hoodie from the closet, without even glancing at the mirror of the closet door.