Wish I was there too....

CHAPTER 7

Y/N's POV:

Eunwoo looked down and said:
"...right...I'm gonna tell them...I'll be back..."
- ...I'm sorry...
- ...You don't have to be sorry again. It's your choice and I understand that you're still mad at them, it's understandable.
- ...okay...

Eunwoo's POV:

I quit Y/N's room and went to the boys, who were waiting in front of the room. I can see that they were hurt. After all, they were a lot of emotions and secrets revealed today. They were all looking down, saying nothing and as for Jaehyun...he looks...completely down.
They saw me and waiting for my answer:
"...so?, Johnny asked, what's her answer?"
- ...You want me to tell you what she really said to me or do I have to be more kind ?
- ...Tell us the true answer, Doyoung said.
- ...I'm sorry guys...but she said that she'd rather tried to kill herself a second time instead of seeing you all...
- ...oh...I see...
- She also said that...she don't want to see you ever again in her life...

At this moment, I saw Jaehyun's head raising up to looking at me and asking:
"...she...she really said that?"
- ...yeah...
- ...
- ...Jaehyun, you have to understand her, she-
- I know...I know...It's just that...I've unfortunately heard that sentence already...That's what I said to her...
- ...oh...
- ...I think...we did something wrong...
- oh really, I said, ironically
- Eunwoo...don't be ironical with us...
- I'm not making fun of you...but you guys really have to think twice before doing something because you can't know what could happen next...
- ...I think we should go now...we don't have to stay here any longer, said Taeyong.
- I think so too, I said to them.
While they were taking their things before leaving the hospital, I headed back to the room and kept talking to Y/N and Mingyu.

Jaehyun's POV:

The boys and I were ready to quit the hospital. When we started walking down the corridor, I turned back to see Y/N's room...just to see her...one last time...I saw her, she was on her hospital bed, talking to Eunwoo and Mingyu...she was smiling...until she suddenly lifts her head up and made eye-contact with me.
Her facial expression changed from the smiling and happy girl she always was to a disappointed and hurt soul who said to me, just by her cold gaze: I hate you.
I bowed my head and walked away to join the boys.
While we were heading back to the dorm, I couldn't stop thinking about what just happened today...
Y/N almost killed herself...because of us...she already lost all her family and we've just...abandoned her while she was still hurt but she hid it from us...for not making us worried about her... Why do I feel so guilty?
Eunwoo was right...we should have thought twice before we kicked her out of our lives like this...

We entered the dorm and went to the living room, the rest of the group was still here.
"Guys ! Finally ! It's been 2 hours since you were gone !, Yuta said when he saw us heading in the living room. But the atmosphere changed when everyone saw our emotionless faces.
"...what happened at the hospital...Was it about Y/N ?", Hendery asked, looking at us worriedly.
Seeing that no one of us was able to speak up, Johnny started to explain :
" You're right Hendery...It's Y/N...Mingyu and Eunwoo found her almost lifeless in her apartment...it was no long before she had definitely left this world."
- But she's okay now ? Right ? Tell me Y/N is okay...please..., Jisung said, almost tearing up.
- Yes...I guess...but that's not all...she-
- I'll say it, I exclaimed, seriously.
- ...Hum...okay...
- ...*sigh*...She didn't tell us something that could have changed everything...
- ...what are you talking about Jaehyun ?
- ...She had lost her parents in a car accident before she came here...They were the last members of her family.
If she didn't told us this, it's because she didn't want us to be worried. She only wanted to find happiness again with us...and we left her all alone...again...with all her bad feelings and thoughts...
- ...oh god...we have to see her ! We-
- Hendery...it's over now...
- Wh-What ? What do you mean by "It's over" ?! We still have a chance to apologize and-
- SHE HATES US, THAT'S IT ! IT'S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE NOW ! YOU REALLY THINK THAT SHE'S GONNA FORGIVE US THIS EASILY ?!
- ...but...what about the post ?
- Guys...let's just admit it...we fucked up...we fucked up everything...we all got carried away by our feelings and here are the consequences...we definitely lost her...end of the story !, I shouted while being on my way to my room.
- Jaehyun!
- DON'T TALK TO ME ! I'm...I'm exhausted...I'm gonna sleep now...
- ...okay...
- ...Johnny...let him calm himself first...go talk to him tomorrow..., Xiaojun suggested to him.
- ...I guess you're right...

As I locked the door of my bedroom, I lay down on my bed and took my phone to listen to some music before going to sleep. But when I saw my lock screen...I saw her again...It was a photo of Y/N and me when we were gone to Petite France, in Gyeonggi.
And everything went worse, because any type of songs I played on my headphones made me remining of her.
Everything around went blurry and that's when I feel something on my cheeks...it was tears...I couldn't get her out of my head...I miss her...
I take my quilt and locked her in my arms like when I was used to cuddling Y/N when she was feeling down or when she had nightmares. This memory made me start crying even more...
" Y/N...I'm so sorry...I'm sorry for everything...I miss you so much...I wish you were here...with me...
I...I love you so much...