Wish I was there too....

CHAPTER 6

Y/N's POV:

I was sleeping, finally in peace but a voice kept calling me:
"Y/N...please...wake up..."
A beeping sound disturbed my ascension to eternal sleep and I felt a warm hand on mine.
"Please...wake up..."
I slowly opened my eyes and was blinded by a bright white light.
"Is that...Heaven?", I asked myself.
"Y/N!", a familiar voice shouted. I looked around me and saw a blurred figure...she seems...familiar? "M-Mom?"
But when I could see more clearly this figure...
"M-Mingyu? Eunwoo?...Wh-What are you doing here?
"Don't worry Y/N...everything's alright...we're here for you...", Mingyu said, looking at me, tears flowing down his rosy cheeks.

I was...surprised to see them here...
"Wait...if they're here...does that mean...no...no way...", I thought.
"...wait...Where am I?"
- You're at the hospital...Eunwoo and I saved you on time..."
- wh-what?...I'm...I'm not...dead?
- ...no!
So...that's it ?...I...I failed...I would never be able to see them...they "saved" me on time...Why didn't I died earlier ? Just a few seconds earlier and I was gone...forever...with no regrets...
"...why ?"
- ...wh-what ?
- ...why did you save me ?
- ...Y/N...
- WHY DID YOU SAVED ME ? WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LET ME DIE IN PEACE ? THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY FOR ME TO BE HAPPY AGAIN AND YOU TOOK IT AWAY FROM ME !!! WHY ?!, I shouted to them, losing my nerves with tears sliding down my pale cheeks.

I'm pretty sure everyone in the hospital heard me...but what I didn't know was the fact that Jaehyun and some others of NCT were here too...
"Y/N...please...listen to us...", Eunwoo said, trying to calm me down but it didn't work.
- NO ! I HATE YOU BOTH ! I HATE EVERY SINGLE SOUL ON THIS PLANET ! EVERYONE IS TRYING TO MAKE MY LIFE A HELL !! ALL I WANT IS DYING AND FINALLY BE IN PEACE WITH-
- WE KNOW ABOUT YOUR FAMILY Y/N !!, Mingyu shouted, making me instantly stopped.
- ...h-how ?
- ...while you were taken care by the nurses, we tried to call your mom...and we found the voicemail you left her...before you tried to kill yourself...
- ...why didn't you told us about it ?, Eunwoo asked, taking my hand in his.
- ...
- ...Y/N...why didn't you tell them ?
- ...I...I wasn't ready to talk about it...I wanted to think about something else...I didn't want to make them worried about me...they never cared about me anyway...
- Of course they did, they-
- If they really cared about me, do you really think I would be here right now ?!
- ...*sigh*...no...
- ...I'm sorry...

- ...for what ?
- I'm sorry for everything...for trying to end my days...to make you worried and panicked...and I'm sorry for lying to you earlier by telling you that I was fine...
- Y/N...you don't have to apologize...we're here for you...
- ...but you're going to left me too...like they did...
- If you're talking about that post...well...yes...we saw it...
- ...
- Don't worry about it...
- ...why ?
- ...we believe you Y/N...we know that you didn't posted it...it's pretty obvious...well...not for some but remember...we're on your side, Mingyu said, smiling at me.
Tears kept falling down my cheeks because I thought I've lost everyone...but I was wrong...I still have them...I was happy but I couldn't show them because I'm still broken...

I saw Eunwoo looking back at the door of the room, sighing.
"What's going on Eunwoo?", I asked him.
- hum...should we tell her Mingyu ?
- tell me what ? Guys, you're scaring me...
- ...well...we told them...
- told who ?
- ...we asked Jaehyun to come here but we didn't know what happened between you and NCT at this moment and-
- He's here...right ?, I said in a serious tone.
- yeah...with Johnny, Doyoung, Taeyong, Haechan and Mark...and we also told them about you...parents...please don't be mad at us...
- ...I'm not mad at you...don't worry Eunwoo...It was right of you to do it...

Eunwoo and Mingyu looked at each other and nodded at the same time.
"Wait for us, we'll be back"
- B-but where are you going ?
- Don't worry we're just here, Mingyu said while caressing my cheek.
- Okay...but make it quick, please...
- Okay
When they quit the room, I put my head right on my knees while grabbing my hair...
"...what have I done...*sigh* I feel so dumb now...", I muttered.
Right after that, Eunwoo and Mingyu came back in the room.
Eunwoo came to me, grabbed my hands, looked at me and asked:
"Y/N...I'm gonna ask you something...I know that your answer is gonna be pretty obvious but...they want to see you...especially Jaehyun...he's right in front of the door...Do you also want to see them or not ?"

I didn't know what to answer...
One side of me wanted to see them so bad...I miss them and want everything turning back to normal...but...the other side of me...hate them so much...They didn't believe me, they didn't even let me tried to find proofs and...they left me...As for Jaehyun...of course I love him and I already know that it's gonna be hard for me to get rid of my feelings for him...but I blame him for hurting me like this...
This angry part of me was boiling up inside...and I let her take the advantage...
"...Honestly...I'd rather tried to kill myself a second time instead of seeing them...I don't want to see them ever again in my life...", I said, repeating exactly what Jaehyun told me.