Wish I was there too....

CHAPTER 9

Hi guys ! It's Y/N...again.
I hope you're doing okay while I'm writing this letter. I finally came back to my apartment and live a common life again...Well, that's what I thought until I realized that you wouldn't be here with me anymore.

Anyway, I'm writing this letter to tell you that...I'm sorry...
I'm sorry for keeping my parents' death secret. I didn't want to bother you all with my boring life. But I also want to thank you all for all the good memories we had together and for bringing happiness and brightness back in my life, even if it was for a short period.

Hendery, you were like one of the greatest big brother I wish I've had in my life. You didn't hesitate to make me laugh when I didn't felt good, you were always here, goofing around with Lucas and Haechan. You were my little trio of clowns, and I will miss it a lot...Well, I miss it already...
Taeyong, Bubu, I will miss your big puppy eyes you've always made, especially when I didn't want to buy you something, but I always ended up buying it because I couldn't resist such a little face like yours. Also, don't forget what you've always told me, smile even if it's hard sometimes.
Jisung...my little cutie pie...I love you so much Jisungie...I know that you're already crying...well don't worry...I am too...I know we won't see each other again...but remember that you were already happy when we didn't know each other, so you'll be happy without me now and also that the dreamies and the others are still here for you...

Now...Jaehyun...how to start...I'm running out of words to describe you...I don't know what to say except one thing...Thank you...Thank you for everything...I will miss you a lot too...I miss you a lot already...I will miss your warm cuddles when I've been feeling down. I will miss your calm voice when we used to talk just the two of us...I will miss your joyful laugh, your charming smile, your dimples...I will everything about you...
I have to be honest with you Jaehyun...
I love you, but not in the same context as the others. I sincerely love you...I love you so freaking much...And I know it's gonna be really hard every single day to get rid of these feelings I've kept inside for a long time ago, even before we met in real life...
The single little thing you've done always made me smiled and I've always felt butterflies down in my stomach whenever I saw you. I've always wanted to kiss you, to tell you how important you were for me but it won't happen...I'm sorry Jaehyun...
I'm sorry for having fallen in love with you...Maybe I should have told you earlier, but I was scared...

Anyway, thank you guys for everything. By the way, I've sent you this picture that I kept in a frame that now is broken, and I don't think I need this picture anymore...You can do what you want with it, as for this letter. Now everything will be back like before we met : you'll continue to advance in your career, and as for me... I don't really know yet...
Well, it seems like I've said what I wanted...so...For the last time...
Thank you guys for everything, once again. I will miss you deeply.
Goodbye.
Sadly signed,
Y/N.