Last night
I stared at the ceiling
while this feeling
of emptiness filled
my lungs.I don't smoke
I don't drink
My pain is raw
and deadly
and I love it.Yet I hate it
when I cry
I hate it when
my eyes
turn red
I hate it when
I can't catch my breath
I hate it when
everything comes to an end.Last night
I prayed
I'm not sure if my faith
made me do so
or despair
took over my body,
mind and soul
I prayed
so the pain goes away.And for a moment
it did
But somehow, it came back
and it stayed.Are things ever going to change?