Blood in the streets, Embracing My Darkness

Chapter 3

I'm almost home. I should probably walk faster because its getting darker out but i can't seem to make my feet go faster in fact i slow down a considerable amount but i still reach my door anyway i grab the handle and brace for what i'm about to come home to i know he's going to be upset that i was out late but i don't care at this point it better for me to be out of the house and deal with the consequences later i open the door and see my dads head snap towards me and i slowly close the front door "where the hell were you it's nearly midnight" my dad yelled standing up from his beer stained rocker chair "i just graduated high school some people dragged me out to go celebrate" i said not completely lying i did go to a party for about an hour before i decided it wasn't my scene and went to the library to go sulk and drown myself in books "i don't care you were supposed to be home and make dinner and clean around the house" he yelled raising his hand at me i instinctively flinch back and curl my arms towards my chest ready to cover myself if needed "see i didn't even touch you and you are shaking and cowering in fear you are a worthless coward i can't believe i got stuck with you" he said yelling louder at me i lower my head looking at the ground "i'm sorry Father i'll go clean now" i said quickly brushing past him bumping into his shoulder on the way past him i can stand up to him if i wanted to i have before but it just seems to make things worse that they need to be i'm taller than him but i don't have a very big build i'm not scrawny but i don't have a lot of muscle either my dad is average height but on the heavier side he's also strong i wouldn't be able to take him if he started something so it's best to just keep my head down and do what he says when he gets really upset he locks me in the closet well its like a coat closet it has an actual door in it and he would put me in there and turn up the TV and drink till he forgot about me i don't do anything to directly piss him off anymore so i go into the kitchen and pick up the bottles and the garbage laying around and i go and take the trash out and i go back in the kitchen and go the dishes and just clean as much as i can around the house i'd rather do more than i have to than not enough after i finish i go into my room and plug in my phone and put my headphones in and lay down on my bed staring at the ceiling till i fall asleep which might take a while i have a lot to think about like if i'm going to stay here or just skip town and start a new life and figure out the money issue later i think my best option is just to stick it out for as long as i can and save up enough to be comfortable when i leave because right now i don't even have enough money for a bus ticket and i don't really want to hitchhike i think i'm going to walk to the library again tomorrow i can use that as a good escape i also need to figure out a job i'll go out and apply to places tomorrow.