Heartstrings

| second string |

II.

"Ate, feeling Basha ka na naman." inis na iring ng kapatid ko pagkatapos ihagis sa akin ang tissue.

"Wala kang pakialam." baling ko sabay punas sa aking luha.

I watched it for ten times already but I still cried whenever I hear Basha saying that line. Minsan nga, sinasabayan ko pa.

"Hindi ka naman dapat maka-relate diyan, e. Wala pa naman yatang iba si Kuya Gil."

"Drop that yata, Ina. Stop giving me false hopes." mapait kong sabi habang tinutusok-tusok ang isang tub ng ice cream.

"What? You haven't heard anything about him. Taboo na nga name ni Kuya sa circle of friends at sa band mates niyo, e. Kaya 'di tayo sure. Wala rin akong balita sa kaniya, lumipad na yata sa Mars, pangarap niyo 'yon, 'di ba?"

"Pero sa'yo, hindi? Banggit ka ng banggit ng pangalan niya, e!" sigaw ko habang tumatakbo siya papasok ng kuwarto para iwasan ang unan na binato ko.

"Ate, samahan mo pa rin ako mag-enroll, ha! Doon ba sa dating university kung saan kayo nag-college ni Kuya Gil?" sigaw niya mula sa kuwarto.

Narinig ko ang hagikgik niya at ang pagku-kuwento niya kay Papa tungkol sa akin, napa-irap ako. Bakit ba may epal akong kapatid? Feeling ko talaga napulot lang 'to. She's too carefree, reckless and loud so I can't even compare her to our mother since she's kinda docile and silent.

I shut down the laptop and saw the stuff toy near me na kanina pa nagpapapansin, only to found out that this one was also given by him. Leche naman. Bahay naman namin 'to pero ang daming gamit na galing sa kaniya. But instead of throwing it away.. I hugged it. His smell was still lingering on it, 'di bali halos limang taon na rin 'to hindi nalabhan?

My world didn't stop when he left since my world doesn't revolve around a guy. It's just that.. my life changed when he chose not to stay. It's different but I still cope up. I moved forward and continued walking but.. I can't move on.

I can still see his shadow everywhere, like he left something there for me not to forget him.

Some said that I can find someone much better than him. A guy who wouldn't leave me. A guy who will choose to stay despite of the maelstrom.

He left.

He did not stay.

But they didn't know that he is already the best.

That I had the best, but I chose to destroy him.

Hinawakan ko ang pisngi ko nang maramdaman itong basa. Just like the other times, I wiped it.. not leaving a single to tear to remember how much it hurts to see him walking away.

Kainis. Iba talaga tama sa akin ng One More Chance.