Craving Purity

11

White lights were the first thing that Levi saw when he came to, and he saw people in uniforms around him. He tensed up, not knowing who the people were, and trying to get away.

That was when he realized his arms were being held down by more of the uniformed people, making him panic even further. He was in terrible pain, his arms burning and his entire being longed for comfort, but none of these people who had a hold on him would bring it.

"I need you to calm down, sir," one of the men said, pressing on his chest gently to keep him from shaking and pushing them away. "We're going to give you a sedative so we can stitch up your wounds."

Levi shook his head, tears leaking from his eyes as he tried to see past the haze over his eyes. He didn't want to go to sleep; he didn't know what would happen to him if he was asleep. The fog in his mind was so heavy that he didn't know what was going on or where he was.

"D-Don't," Levi said, his voice scratchy.

The people ignored him and began to speak to each other and Levi couldn't pick up their words. His mind went fuzzy and he tried to sit up, but every part of his body felt too heavy. Before he could tell them to stop whatever they were doing, he'd fallen back asleep.

•••

Echoed voices dragging Levi's mind from his rest, his whole body sore and he his eyelids felt heavy. He could hear shouting and it made him fight the haze and open his eyes to find that he was alone in the room.

A clock on the wall told him it was seven in the morning, which explained his exhaustion. Looking down at his arms, he saw thick bandages covering his forearms, and his mind rushed back to the previous night.

The embarrassment, the guilt, his anger and depression, the cutting, and finally, calling Greyson.

The yelling from outside the door made his eyes widen and body tense, as he recognized the voice.

"What do you mean we can't go in?!" Elijah shouted, and Levi heard a thudding sound, most likely someone hitting a wall. "He's our boyfriend and you said he's stable, so we deserve to go in!"

Levi's heart raced as he realized that Elijah and Greyson were outside his door. In fact, his heart rate skyrocketed to the point where the heart monitor went off and the nurse outside the door rushed into the room.

She ran over to the IV that was attached to Levi's arm and he panicked.

"Don't give me another sedative!" he shouted, his heart longing to see Elijah and Greyson, no matter how mad they may be.

They'd probably hate him. He couldn't believe that he thought they'd relish in the pain he caused himself. All he could hear was the heavy tone the both Greyson and Elijah had as they pleaded him to stay awake, promising they were on their way.

"I won't," the nurse said, looking at the screen that displayed his vitals. "I'm just checking the vitals because usually heart rates don't randomly leap like that."

Levi bit his bottom lip. "I heard my boyfriends in the hallway," he said, realizing he couldn't play with his fingers because his arms were wrapped and too weak to move. "I want to see them."

The nurse didn't look too sure. "I'm not sure-"

"Let me see them!" Levi yelled, his anger overflowing. "You told them I was stable so let me see them now!"

"The doctor will see you soon," the nurse said, opening the door. "You can come in, gentlemen."

Elijah and Greyson shoved past the nurse and sat each one rushed to one of Levi's side. They all were silent for a few seconds, Greyson covering Levi's bandaged arms when he caught Elijah staring at them with a sad expression.