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San closed the screen of his phone after said goodbye to Wooyoung. It was the usual.
The younger thirsting over how he wanted the older to destroy his walls to the point where Donald Trump would have to build a new one inside him.
He loved Wooyoung so much, but he wasn't sure if the younger loved him back equally.
Sure, Wooyoung would compliment him and show his affections, but they were always sexual. San hated to doubt him, but he has always been insecure.
He was afraid that Wooyoung was with him only for sexual desires or status.
His thoughts were interrupted when the doorbell ringed. Getting up feeling drained, San gloomy greeted Seonghwa who was waving cheerfully when the door opened.
The raven-haired boy forced a smile and stepped aside to let him in. Noticing the detached vibe the older asked worriedly ❝Are you okay?❞
Seonghwa placed down the takeaway meals he brought for Hongjoong and San since those two can't cook and eat unsustainable food like chips.
❝To be honest,❞ San's voice drifted, the more he thought about it, the more it's killing him. Expressing his concerns won't be too bad right?
Seonghwa came back from placing the food in the fridge and said, ❝You can tell me San; you know that❞ before sitting down at the kitchen table.
San hesitated but hastily made his way to the table ❝okay❞ he breathed out. The older leaned forward, signalling for him to start.
❝Sometimes I feel like Wooyoung doesn't really love me❞ he paused, unable to really express his thoughts out loud.
He realised how much harder it was to say it because he was afraid of how it sounded like the truth.
❝What I meant is, he never really expresses himself and always make sexual jokes. It feels as if...❞ San trailed off, sounding unsure of himself as well.
He just couldn't find the right words to explain how he feels, or rather he didn't want to embrace it.
