All I Want (vulquinn)

Lost Boy/Suburbia

July 2nd, 1996 11:08 p.m.

"You better tell me the truth." Sal felt his heart sink to the floor. What was he gonna say? Whenever parents pulled that out, that meant that they already knew the truth. He wanted to lie through his teeth but knew that it would only make things worse.

"Is it because i'm home a little late? I'm sorry, I should have paid closer attention to time." He tries to see if he can steer clear of the conversation he feared it could be. His hands had begun to grow clammy and his stomach was tied up like a pretzel making the ice cream he consumed earlier not sit so well anymore.

"Sal, stop playing games." His dad had his hands planted on the counter and his head was hung between his shoulders as he stared to the ground. His dad couldn't even look him in his eyes, the tone of his voice said everything: disappointment.

"I don't know what you're going on about dad." His dad slammed his hands on the counter making Sal jump halfway out of his own skin.

"You know damn well." Then it happened: his dad finally looked him in his eyes. Behind them he could see a white blind rage. The same rage he saw the day he accidentally crashed the car, the same rage he saw when he cussed in front of his father for the first time, the same rage he would once again be forced to witness all because of the boy he loved. In his head he was scared. He felt small, meek, and as though there wasn't enough air to fill his lungs. All he wanted to do was run out the front door and try and chase down Q's car until he could no longer look back. But, at the same time, he fed off that anger. It burnt in the joints of his bones, made his fists and jaw clench, like he could just scream until his head popped off of his shoulders. It was overwhelming as it felt like steam was bleeding out of his ears.

"I'm dating Quinn! I'm in love with him! I'm gay, dad! Is that the answer you were looking for?" His voice echoed off the walls and filled the house until nothing filled their ears but the deafening silence of their torment. They stared at each other in that moment, he couldn't quite make out what his father was thinking but he knew that his gears were going. His dad squints, looking as he leans in a little closer over the kitchen counter to get a better look at him.

"What happened to your face?" Sal brought his fingers up to his face where he knew the light bruise was.

"Got into a fight at the fair." Their voices fell soft once more, Sal began to quickly regret losing himself to a petty confrontation. He started walking over to the stairs seeing that the conversation had come to its close. He was tired and not in the mood to deal with much more ignorance. "Someone called Quinn and I some harsh things. Highschool level bullying and fighting words. I socked him and got us kicked out. I didn't do it because I couldn't handle harsh words, I did it because I'm tired of being shamed for my happiness and who I am." Those were the last words he left for his dad to sit on before he went upstairs to clean up for bed.

When the lights to the bathroom turned on, the yellow light stung his eyes that were acclimated to the dark. They came into focus on the mirror and the face that stared back. The ombre bruise that stained his cheek was quite a shiner. He inspected it closer as he leaned into the mirror to look. A badge of self worth. A sign that he really was over the ignorance. He took on Q's bravery tonight, and he wanted to hold onto that feeling.

He stepped into the shower to cleanse away the reality of everything orbiting him now, watching as soap suds fall down into the drain. He smooths his hands over his soap slicked skin and allows his mind to question what comes next. He knew his dad wasn't happy about all of this, but the mystery was what he would do about the situation. That's probably the only thing that plagued his thoughts, especially as he slid under the blankets of his bed and rested his head into the feathered comfort of his pillow. His eyes stared out the window for a second, looking to whatever stars that could be seen.