"I fell by the wayside like everyone else
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself."
He sang my favorite song again while caressing my head. Before you go by Lewis Capaldi is of my favorite song. I don't know why. I'm not even broken, but the song caught my heart until I always listens to it every single day and that's when I added the song from my favorite song list.
"Our every moment, I start to replace
'Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say."
I closed my eyes once again and let myself listen to Wonwoo's deep and cold voice, singing my favorite song.
I snuggled my face deep into the crook of his neck and smiled.
"When you hurt under the surface
Like troubled water running cold
Well, time can heal, but this won't."
I sing along with him in the chorus part but I still keep my voice lower so that I could hear him singing.
"So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather."
I placed my hand on his chest and play with his shirt and create an imaginary circle on it. He continues to sing until I drifted to sleep.
I woke up the next morning, Wonwoo isn't here anymore. I tried to find him but I remember that the time of visit is over. It will start later.
I sighed and sat on my hospital bed. Yes, you read it right. I'm in the hospital since I found out that I have this illness that doesn't have a cure. So I have to stay in the hospital to keep me alive and safe.
Wonwoo always visits me everyday to see me and have each other by our side. And I think it's not bad and bad. Why? Because he couldn't focus on his work when he's always here to took care of me. And not bad because, I always have someone by my side when I feel alone. I feel safe when Wonwoo is here.
The door opened and a nurse came in. She smiled at me when we locked our eyes. I returned the smile before sitting on the bed again.
"Good morning, Mrs. Jeon." She greeted as she reached besides me and check on my IV.
"Good morning too." I greeted back and waited for her to finish her work.
"Looks like Mr. Jeon just went back to his work." I nodded my head and laid back on my bed when she's done checking on me.
"Drink your medicine later at 9AM, ma'am." She reminded me when she glanced at her wrist watch and write down something.
"Yes. Thank you." She nodded her head before walking out of my room. I'm left alone again in this white and empty room.
***
"Hey, Mom! Glad you came!" I welcomed her with my wide smile and hugged her when I saw her entered my room.
"Thank god, sweetie. You look fine today." We went to my mini kitchen before Mom starts to prepare me my breakfast.
I'm about to talk when I felt myself coughing.
Few coughs left my lips as I covered it with my right hand. I felt something after I coughed. When I looked at my hand, I saw a blood.
"M-Mom.." She immediately looked at me before my hand. Her eyes widened before running towards me.
"NURSE!" She called but no one came in. She run towards my bed and pushed the button besides my headboard where I can immediately call a nurse or a doctor. She then run towards me and helped me wipe my blood.
She's starting to panic, I could feel it. "W-What are you feeling?" She asked, hysterically.
I'm about to answer her when I felt everything around me spinning and everything went black.
As I opened my eyes, Wonwoo welcomed me sitting on the seat besides my bed.
My smile appeared. "H-Hey.." I said, voice cracking.
"Are you feeling fine..?" Why I feel like I'm having some trouble from breathing? I can't breath properly.
"I-I can't -" Another cough scape my lips that made Wonwoo stood up from his seat. He's worried and panicking.
"I'm fine.." I said. "I just need to rest." I added.
"I know you already can't bear with the pain.." He lay besides me and hugged me.
"Where's mom?" He pointed someone besides me and when I followed it with my gaze, I saw my mom sleeping peacefully on the couch.
I went back looking at him.
"It hurts to see you in that state.." Wonwoo mumbled between the hug.
"I-I love you.." I can't speak any longer. I'm slowly feeling the tiredness, embracing my whole body. All I want is to rest.
"Do you want to rest now?" I immediately understood the meaning behind his question. I closed my eyes and bit my lips.
"If you can't take the pain anymore, I'll let you rest now.. But, always remember that I love you.." Tears begun to fall while I listened to him. I can't move my body now and I don't know why.
"Rest now, baby.. Let the earth cross our paths again." As he let out his last words, I smiled and move my head slightly to him. The only part of my body that I can only move is my head and this doesn't explain why I can't move my whole body.
"So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go."
My tears couldn't stop from rolling down on my face when he started singing my favorite song.
"Was never the right time, whenever you called
Went little by little by little until there was nothing at all
Our every moment, I start to replay
But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face."
I'm not yet ready. I still want to be with him. To spend my time with him. But if this illness of mine is the hindrances of my wishes.. Do I have a choice but to give up? The doctor already told us that there's no cure on my illness. And right now, I'm having a hard time to fight for my life to live.
"When you hurt under the surface
Like troubled water running cold
Well, some can heal, but this won't."
But, I think it's time to let go. I don't want to make Wonwoo worry from now on. We have to sacrifice every love we make. And if this sacrifice will make everything's better, then I have to go. I don't want to be a bother anymore.
"Tell mom I love her.." I felt Wonwoo tighten the hug while proceeding to sing the song.
"So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go"
I love you, Wonwoo so much. Thank you for everything. I'll treasure every memories of you. I love you..
"Would we be better off by now
If I'd have let my walls come down?
Maybe, I guess we'll never know
You know, you kn-"
The song didn't end that well from what used to be.. And all I know, everything went blank and black.
Until I heard the life machine went flat.
YOU ARE READING
SEVENTEEN IMAGINES
De Todo" A book where you imagine as I will write it. " Request: closed Status: completed
