The heart wants what it wants (editing so please comment if any errors)

16.Heaven

Next morning

I kissed zayns lips and he fell right to sleep I got in the cab and I began to tear but I knew I was going to see him in a few days but it hurt me it's like I left my other half behind.

I got to the airport and checked in I waited for the plane as I was listening to music and thinking a cute little girl maybe a toddler she looked a lot like Gracie she came up to me and smiled

"hey cutie what is your name" she giggled and it made me smile as well her mom came " oh my goodness I'm so sorry for my Daugher" "it's cute alright"

she picked her Daughter up in her arms and she started smiling look at her made me miss the baby I was almost going to have but I didn't I lost him or her but I always think about it

I could've been a mother and Justin and I wouldn't have been this way I just it hurts me cause that little girl could've been my daughter God does things in mysterious ways and I wonder why maybe him and I weren't meant to be that's why

"Flight 561" to Los Angeles is now boarding" I got up and grabbed my stuff thank god I wasn't noticed I walked into first class and the flight attendant helped me to my seat i buckled in and laid down and fell asleep I need it

-Dream-
"Mommy mommy" I walked to zayn and my daughter she was in his arms "yes baby" she giggled

" I want ice cream with sprinkles" I nodded my head "okay baby go ask uncle liam" said zayn "okay daddy" he put her down and she walked to liam

"ah there's my pregnant wife holding our 2nd child shes a beauty" he grabbed me " shut up im a whale" he got serious "no you aren't you're the best person in the world you aren't big you are just being healthy for the baby and yourself and you're doing a great job just 5 more months and he will be in our arms I promise"

I smiled and we hugged Nikki "Aww man mommy I got ice cream on my shirt" "it's okay" I got a wipe "mommy I don't want anymore" I took her ice cream and zayn cleaned her hands and face then he picked her up and she fell asleep and we looked happy as ever
End of dream

I woke up thinking about the dream it made me think again of my daughter or son how heaven couldn't wait for him or her but I will be happy and I will tell zayn and my kids about him or her I always my 10th week sono in my wallet with me I didn't know I until that day it was my first they wanted to do test on me so they did an ultrasound and we heard a heart beat I really didn't know you couldn't tell I was but that was the best day for me

that baby will always be part of me and also part of the love Justin and I shared after we lost the baby he lost it

and I think that's why he's acting this way and I don't blame him but I have to leave the past and focus now I just take that baby and keep her or him in my heart.

Zayn texted me here and there but this flight made me think a lot I had to pop the question just to see what he would say

"Can I ask you something?"

My Forever 💋💕
Sure baby anything ☺️

Wow that was quick here it goes

Would you ever want to have a baby ?

-10 minutes pass-
Oh fuck my life he doesn't I knew it

My forever 💋💕
Honestly yes I would why?

Well shit

"Asking but that's good to know ☺️😏"

My Forever 💋💕
Why want to make a baby 😏? Cause we can we got a month off again you and I and can get busy

I chuckled at his remark I hate this child

Aha you are very funny but I'll think about that meanwhile I gotta go ☺️💋

My Forever 💋💕
Ah laughing at me well maybe you'll get a little punishment laters babe 😏

Well shit im scared but I like it I got my stuff and vanessa picked me up

"Girl I got stuff to tell you" she laughed while driving " trust me I know you and zayn get it on"

I laughed " oh shut up you and Austin too" she stopped and got quiet " you right you right " then began laughing we stopped at chipotle and got some food and went to my house I haven't been in so long

Then my mom and Gracie came over and we hung out and talked about things I missed LA so bad but london is where my heart is where zayn is