Waiting For A Hero. (LARRY STYLINSON)

Chapter 11

Louis's P.O.V

I knew I shouldn't have stormed off like that, but I'm just not ready, you know? Like, think of it as terms in a straight relationship. Think, the guy of the relationship wants the girl to have sex with him. She says, I'm not ready, but I might be in the future. However, the guy keeps asking. It's essentially the same thing. And that's what Harry was doing, he was pressuring me into doing something I didn't want to do. I mean, listen, I want to be with him, I really do. And I wouldn't mind the secret relationship, but I don't think that's enough for him.

Harry's P.O.V

I didn't even go to my locker, I couldn't look at him right now. I asked Lindsey if I could borrow her text book during class, she of course understood and let me. We were getting started on an assignment when Louis poked his smug little head through the door. "Hey, can I borrow Harry for a moment? It's for journalism class." I rolled my eyes, he better be joking. 

"Very well. Harry, go on ahead." He excused me. I felt everyone's eyes on me as I shuffled out of the door. 

"So, why do you need me? What am I doing for journalism class?" 

"Wanna know a secret?" An eyebrow raised up. "I'm not in a journalism class."

"So why'd you pull me out of class?" I asked him.

"I dunno. To hang? I guess I just wanted an excuse to talk to you." He started to walk off, then turned around to look at me like he expected me just to follow him.

"Hold up," I stopped him. "You expect me, after all I went through after you left last night, just to follow you around like a little puppy dog? No, that's not how it works."

"Come on, I'm sorry for storming out, okay?" He turned around. "But, in my defense, you're pressuring me into something that I'm not comfortable doing. Okay? So let's just leave it, we were both at fault." 

"You know what? No, I'm not leaving it. I'm going to talk to you about this, give you my side."

"Fine. Go ahead." He crossed his arms.

"I saw you on the first day of school and was stricken by your beauty. You had a letter man jacket on, and you were older. Basically forbidden fruit to me. However, I thought I'd get to tutor you. And that was so exciting. Then, you ditched me for a girl. That's when I remembered, oh yeah, basically no one's gay at all! Then, you kissed me after your football game and ignored me, and let me get teased. You were my first kiss, and my first love. Then, you lead me on by saying if I came out publicly that you'd think about it. Well, since I was so naive, I did it only to be greeted with nothing. And, here's where it gets better, you try to start a secret relationship with me, and I ask one simple question of, 'Why won't you come out? It's not a big deal.' And you storm off like I'd just insulted your family."

"Now, want to hear my side?" 

"Sure," I said, slightly out of breath. Man, it felt good to get that off my chest. 

"Well, here's my side. So, here I am, slightly confused about my sexuality, right? When, I see this little freshman when I bump into him on my way to my locker. I instantly fell for his curly locks and bright green piercing eyes. I knew I should try to keep a distance and see if I can't stop these weird feelings I have, then, he offers to help me in English. I accept, and realize how stupid I am for accepting. I try to play up that I'm straight by ditching for a girl. Guess what? That day, I went home and cried in the shower for an hour straight because I figured I was such a pathetic excuse for a human being. After that, I see him at my football game. I'm instantly overwhelmed with admiration for him, and catch him after the game. I take a leap of faith and kiss him, and I figure out that he's gay but not open because he was flustered, but kissed back. That's what I really needed to know, and I knew then that it'd be harder to shake the green-eyed boy from my mind. After that, I feel terrible after I figure out that I stole his first kiss and left him to fend for himself in this cruel world. I know I should've stepped up, but I'm a coward. I'm honestly terrified of being myself, because it's frowned upon so much. And why is that so wrong, for a guy to love another guy? If it doesn't hurt you, it doesn't concern you. That's my motto. But, I've seen what the jocks do to openly gay people. They torture them until their life is a living hell, I've told them to back off of you, which raised suspicions to me. I decided to try a secret relationship, and just when I think everything is going great you begin to pressure me to come out again, when I've already told you I'm not ready. And you just keep persisting, and that's why I stormed out. Is because if I do that my life could fall apart, and who knows? Maybe they'll bully me so much that I'll have to leave schools, and then I'll never get to be with you, because maybe I'd accidentally loathe you for ruining my life because I'm such a selfish and screwed up person that I blame other people for my mistakes and that's why I'm blaming you because I'm too damn scared to come out!" He yelled, slammed into a locker and sunk to the ground in tears.