My name is Ruhsan, I am 16 years old and I suffer from severe anxiety and depression. I have been ailed by these illnesses since I was 11 years old. I don't know if one is a by-product of the other, all I know is that I have been depressed as long as I have been anxious.
When I was first realised I was depressed, I told my mother, similar to how any 11 year old would, I imagine. She didn't react as I expected she would. My mother told me that I was too young to be 'depressed'.
Over the next two years, I only got worse. I hid in my room, spoke to my family less and less, my school work even began to suffer. My family noticed, but to them I was just a 'moody, hormonal kid'.
From then on I learned to fake it. I put on a smile and everything was okay. Of course it wasn't but no one needed to know that, or at least no one cared.
That's how I felt for a long time. I felt as if no one cared, as if I could just end it and it wouldn't even cause a blip on anyone's radar. Besides the people who had to deal with the body, of course.
I felt like this for a long time, even got close one time but I could never bring myself to do it.
I fell into a slump, I tried to get myself out, at first indefinitely, then in a more temporary way. I exercised, ate better, any 'solution' to depression I could find online. None of them really worked, it only got worse. I felt as if I couldn't speak to anyone, I was too embarrassed. If my own mother didn't believe me, why would some random stranger?
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This our first of many stories. Thank you so much to Ruhsan who wrote this specifically for this use, and also was brave enough to put her story forward.
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Non-FictionThese are the true stories and real issues of people you may have never have known existed. This is to raise awareness and to help others be heard. These issues vary from physical and mental illnesses, issues due to their sexuality or gender, disabi...
