Just One Boost. (ON HOLD)

Chapter 3

Family is supposed to our safe haven but it's a place where I find my deepest heartache
:-)~~(-: Demilade Wellington

Underneath his cardigan were scars, scars he wouldn't dare show the world. Everyone saw him as the golden boy, good looks with brains, best technical student and the so-called loving parents but no-one would have guessed the inhumane things he faced at home.

It all started in Senior School, that was when the scars, rules, monster all came out because of career choice. As a young child, Demmie had always been fascinated with wires. He was the type of boy who destroyed his motor toy cars and then try to connect the wires back. It was just something he loved doing, it made him elated and that was why he aimed to become an electrical engineer in future. He hoped to learn more and more about wires and electricity alas! It was not as easy as he thought.

He flipped the pages of the book he was currently reading, when his eyes caught something.

You don't know pain until you find yourself staring at the mirror with tears streaming down your face and begging yourself to hold on and be strong. That's pain.

It took a moment for Demmie to understand the words. Seeing that quote opened his eyes to somethings. Could that mean that he was truly in pain? He could barely sleep each night without staring at the mirror and sobbing. Maybe he was truly in pain or maybe he deserved it all. He continued flipping the pages as his eyes caught something again;

It doesn't matter how tough you are; trauma always leave a scar. It follows us home, changes our life. Trauma messes everybody up. But maybe that's the point. All the pain&fair&crap. Maybe going through that, is what keeps us moving forward. It pushes us, maybe we have to get a little messed up before we can step up.

Demmie cracked his knuckles, an habit he has gotten used to when tensed. All of what he was reading, was reopening his wounds, one that he wouldn't want to be touched. He picked up his pen and tore a paper from his books as he readjusted his position on his bed to a more comfortable one. Then, he began to pen down his emotions and feelings. That was the only way he could bring calmness to himself.

Dear me,
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you tried so desperately to fix others while your own hands were shaking. I'm sorry that I didn't give you enough time to heal. That I let you seal the wounds of others whilst your own was bleeding. I'm sorry that there were days when smiling hurt but you forced yourself to laugh so that no one had to worry about you. I'm sorry that you gave all your time and effort to people that didn't give the same amount back. I'm sorry that there were nights when you cried yourself to sleep and no one bothered to ask why and I'm sorry that I didn't love you like you deserved to be loved.

He took a moment to get himself back together. He was pissed, not at anybody but at himself. He was angry at himself that he couldn't stand up for himself, angry that he was still succumbing to the inhumane treatment but there was nothing he could do. The monster afterall was his father. He didn't know when he jerked his back at the bed frame. He let out a small squeal as he felt the pain. Not only did he hit is back but at the place where he had an injury. remembering the event of the injury brought tears to his eyes.

Flashback

"remove your shirt this instant ," he heard his father scream.

He was really scared of the voice his father used. One thing he knew that his father hated was sluggishness and that was exactly what he was doing. Although he knew that his father wouldn't change his mind, he still silently prayed for a change of heart.