Just One Boost. (ON HOLD)

Chapter 4

You have no idea how worthless you made me feel   
:-)~~(-:    Moralayo   Alapetu      

  Anxiety is the feeling when you get frustrated because it's physically impossible to be 100% happy. It's a feeling when you feel like you are not good enough; you crave for attention you know you can't have. It's a feeling when you stare at your ceiling and ask yourself an infinite number of questions, then sit, breathe, and debate whether or not you want the answer. The feeling when you wonder all night and think about who truly cares about you and who's using you, who truly wants you and who's awaiting your downfall. The feeling when you question your value, worth, pride, yourself, everything and think.    Overthink    all night. All you are left with is you, yourself and a very dark place.   
Anxiety is an emotion..........  

" damn it , "  she cursed as she realized that the signal had gone. She was really enjoying the program. That seemed to be her remedy the past weeks. It was a podcast that Ike had introduced to her and since then, she never missed the podcast. She really loved and looked forward to the podcast each day as she did now.

Her mind trailed back to the events that happened in the past week. The past week has been some sort of a miserable one to her. She had cried her eyes out until there was no tears left to cry. She couldn't bare to think about the stigma she would face. The shame, the spiteful glances, and that was one of the reasons why she refused to go to school today.

Yea, school had resumed but Layo couldn't bring herself to go but one thing she knew was that sooner or later, she was going to go but she was afraid of everything and anything.
The fact that her sister was going to be crowned the head girl while she was going to be termed as a repeater. She could not bare to think of that thought alone. It was scaring her, making her mind trail to different directions. 

She took a glance at the clock. It was few minutes to the time school will close. Susie went to school, perks of being the head girl, leaving only Layo and the maids alone in the house.

She went over to her study desk as she removed her black nylon from her stationary container. Actually, she had poured a rightful amount of the liquid and placed it there so as to avoid suspicion. It wasn't like she was addicted to it, she just liked its scent. Inhaling it's scent brought a kind of calmness to her. She tore open the nylon as she started to inhale the smell. It gave her a kind of feeling she could not describe.

Have you ever been obsessed with a certain scent and when you smell it you can't just stop sniffing? Well, mine is.........    

"BOOM!!"

" what the !  !  Layo looked up to her sister's scrutinizing gaze on her. Her eyes scanning her as if suspecting her for something.

Thought I locked the door    

"why is your whole body...."

"quit it,  it mistakenly splashed on my hands" she lied, hoping that her sister would buy it.

"anyways, that's none of my business, just wanted to tell you that I've gotten back from school." Susie said, without waiting for a reply from Layo as she exited the room.

" Pheew    ...... That was a close one "  Layo muttered to herself. She knew that she had to get rid of the stain, since it was very evident on her face and palms. She made her way to the bathroom, ready to scrub every trace of it off her body.

  ***********

Layo clutched her stomach as she fell back on the sofa, throwing her head back in laughter. She is currently seated in the living room, reading a dispute in her class whatsapp group chat. To be frank, the argument was a really funny one and as usual, she just read the messages, she still hasn't gotten over her fear yet.