Angels can Fly✅

Chapter 20

Author's note

Hey guys, it is Emilee, I have written the LONGEST chapter I ever had in honor of this being the 20th chapter.  This chapter includes self-harm so please if it is a trigger to you, do not read it. I do not think this book will be lasting until 50+ chapters, but I do seeing it last to 30-35 because I have so many ideas. Good News, I have started writing a new Larry book, but I am not sure if I will upload it while this one is still being written. Thank you all for the support enjoy this chapter.
~Emi♡♡

♤Louis'POV♤

Today is July fifteenth, Today is our 50th concert. Our tour ends in January, we are not even halfway over, and we have been on the road for so long. Me and Harry have gotten closer, it seems in impossible but we are even more inseparable than before. Liam has been sleeping around with girl after girl, Zayn and Niall has not stopped fighting this week. As I stand in the hotel shower, I think of how to make everything better. This time on the road, touring, has been the most amazing experience for all of us and I can not seem to get enough of it. Every performance, I feel more alive than the last. "Baby are you almost done? We have to leave in 30 minutes for the show!" Harry opens the batbroom letting his words flood in, I fall even deeper in love. I have not been expressing my love as much lately, he seems distant. I have been so occupied with the stage and talking about it, I havent given my boyfriend enough attention. We have only had sex once, and it was three months ago. We do not make out much anymore either, we only cuddle at night and I miss it. I miss my mum and her warm touch, her soft voice and her loving words, I miss my mum...but not what she did to me.

*flashback*

"Mum! I did it!" I scream and my high voice echoes in thr cold winter air. "Louis! Mummy is so proud of you, you did amazing." He picks me up, twirling me in her strong arms. I just built my first snowman with my bestfriend Harry, today is my seventh birthday, and he is turning seven in two months. Me and my mum laugh, hugging each other as Harry runs towards us in his fluffy winter coat. "Jay! Take a photo of me and Lou please I want to remeber this forever!" Harry screans up as he looks to my mum, she is so happy and so proud of us. She puts me down, takes a picture of us and hands it to my bestfriend. "I love you mum! You're my favorite mum in the whole world!" I hug her stomach and squeeze, I love her so much. "I love you too hun, I will always love you no matter what." She kisses my forehead while she hugs me back. "Hey! What about me!!" Harry pouts with his cute little lip, my bestfriend is adorable! "And you too Haz! I love you!" I run to him, hugging him so tight my arms could fall off. Today is best day of my life, I will always love mum and Harry.
*end of flashback*

Now that I think of it, the loving memory of my mother is about Harry, my whole life is Harry. I no longer love my mum, and I hate myself for it. I feel a burning itch in my body, a need to feel the pain my heart feels. I see the razor sitting on the edge of the shower, I pull it apart and pull out a blade. Where could I do this where Harry can not see, he would hate me. My ankles are barely seen, but what would happen if I took off my socks? My sides are soft and it would be easy, but what would happen if I took off my shirt? My thighs are thick and would scar badly, and what would happen if I took off my pants? I sigh, putting down the broken blade and start to cry. I turn off the water and step out, covering myself with a towel. I my necklace and bracelet are put back on, I walk into the hotel room and find Harry sitting with his knees to his chest and looking at his phone. I sigh as I put on my clothes and let tears fall without making a sound. "Lou, are you alright?" He looks up from his phone as I slip on my plain white tee.

"Um..no..Harry I..I'm not okay." I think to myself of saying these words, but I can not let them leave my thoughts. Instead I walk to him and lay on him, letting sobs leave me instead of the words. "I love you too Boobear, and I miss you too." How does he know what I want to say, how does he understand what is inside my head? "I didn't say anything Haz." I whisper as I continue to cry, is voice isnthe only thing thay could make me better. "You didn't need to. I know you love me, and I know you miss me. We have been so busy, at least two shows a week, we have barely had time to be us. I know you miss that, and so do I. We will be in Paris in three days, we will have four days off. How about me and you go off on a tiny vacation while we are there? Just you and me, it will be romantic and we can let loose yeah?" He pets my hair and rubs my back, letting me relax. "Can we Harry please, I miss my sunshine, I miss us."