Woman of Sorrows-The Black-Veiled Woman

The Harder Choice

The days that followed began to blur together for her, one becoming the next, and the next. She did nothing, every day, and it drove her near mad. He worked, from morn till night, at the lumberyard, readying to provide for her life. But she was painfully bored. All she did was go out of the village on Avaleth, riding for a while, meeting with Tarre, and then going back again to have dinner with Thane at the inn. Yet with every passing day she grew more impatient. Some morning she paced the already worn floor, just wishing for something to happen. Other days, she took her bow with her and fired arrows into the deep of trees, for there was little else for her to do. She was happy to have seen him again, but with every passing moment, she became less and less content. She wanted to be free, to leave him again and seek out the life she had been meant to live.

That evening, she took dinner with Thane as usual, though she was quieter, even more so than normal, and he noticed. Setting down his spoon on the splintered table, he looked up to her with a knowing smile, even though his words contradicted his expression.

"I must admit, I am unsure as to your motives to return," Thane sighed, though he smiled to her, "I am so happy to know you are safe, yet you seem utterly distracted and as though you do not wish to be here."

"No, no, it is not that. I simply worried about how Tarre is faring without me. I am certain he is fine though."

"You seem almost restless."

"I am, I suppose," she agreed, shrugging, "I have not been in the same place more than a week since I saw you last."

"What do you mean to do?" he inquired, "Do you mean to stay?"

"I am not certain," she admitted, her voice softening for she admitted the truth to him for the first time, "I wanted to let you know I lived, and I thought, we would pick up right where we left off, but it now feels wrong to do so. There has been too much since then."

"I do not expect you to be the same person, my love, I only hope that you will continue to write me into your life."

"I suppose I will, but we can hardly marry now," she laughed, meaning it to be lighthearted, but failing to realize the hurt she caused him through her words.

Thane nodded solemnly and swallowed hard, then sat back in his chair and crossed his arms across his chest. That was not something he had expected to hear. Knowing she was alive, that was a miracle, but from the moment he laid eyes on her again, he had thought they would marry and continue their life together. He never imagined that she would fail to see a future for them now that she had changed. But to tell her? That would likely drive her away-something he did not want to do. To live without her though, knowing she was alive? To let her go all over again in pursuit of some warrior's life and likely fatal destiny? It would destroy him. He hardly desired to let her out of his sight, much less to suffer the pain of watching her exit his life all over again, thought it would not be a permanent end. This was a blow he had never once contemplated. Yet, for now, he had to smile and agree for fear she would leave him too soon.

"No, no, I suppose not," he lied, faking his smile now.

"To think that we would be able to start from where we ended? That would be outrageous. I am so vastly different. I am a warrior now, not some feeble woman who needs supported by her husband or fiancé. I cannot image trying to be that person again now."

"Nor would you be asked to," he sighed, biting his lip.

Even before she died, he never saw it in such a manner. She was his world, both before and after she died. Asking her to be anything less than the center of his world would be untruthful.