Woman of Sorrows-The Black-Veiled Woman

No More Fantasies

He would accept her. He had already told her as much. But there was something that kept her up that night. She knew any other time, she would fall peacefully asleep in his arms, but tonight she could not. Instead, she lay restless, trying to sleep. Had he been awake, he would have worried about her as he always did. However, he had fallen asleep long since, lulled to sleep by the knowledge that he had finally made Chalandra his wife.

Carefully, so as not to wake him, she moved his arm aside. Slowly, she eased her way out of bed, then fully freed herself of the covers he had so lovingly tucked around her. In silence, she moved towards the door, even the movement of her feet failing to make noise. In the midst of the night, she stole away to their other little room and closed the door behind her, the sealing of the room making a dull thud even as she tried to prevent it.

Earlier that day, she had stowed everything in there. She had hidden every blade and bow in there, at his request, in preparation for her new life. So wanting of her he was that he was willing to set aside her every wrong, her every misjudgment, and her every sin. Her hands were soaked in the blood of innocents, yet he still took her in as his wife. Even more, he had agreed to let her continue her quest, her campaign for peace. There was no hesitation in taking her in, but now, she had to choose. Even if he was not forcing her to, she knew she could not be happy living two lives.

From the cabinet, she drew her sword. The broadsword she had carried into every battle, which had rarely left her side. Finding no other clothes in the room, she pulled tight battle-clothes on, prepared in case she was not to return. To her side, she fastened her broadsword, then departed from the room and from the house, uncertain as to whether she would return.

As she made her way down the steps, she looked around, and found the town quiet and still. The stables were only a short way away, so she made it there in just a few moments, especially as she was in haste. Once inside, she greeted Avaleth and quickly bridled her. Leading her out into the street, she swung up and sent her mare forwards, guiding her away from the town and into the hills.

Though Thane had not told her, she knew what this place was. It was the town of Berel, likely sought by the mourning man for some kind of solace and a way to be close to his departed. At the top of the hill, overlooking the town, that was where her childhood home and once stood. As of yet, she had not ventured up there. Now, she felt the urge to visit herself, if only to gain some kind of sense of belonging and of reason.

The night was warm, as it was not yet the start of winter. She hoped the night air would be cooler, as she found that always helped her to think. Avaleth made her way swiftly through town, having never been the sort to be idle or lazy. In fact, the mare enjoyed the night run as much as her master, yet she was not weighted down by the burdens of her owner.

Twenty years ago, she would have set everything aside to become the wife of Thane. Now, here she was, newly married to him, and yet feeling more restless and uneasy than ever before. She was a different person. She was no longer the kind-hearted, simple girl she had been when they fell in love. And so, she was reluctant to drag him into the mess. She had seen horrors more than he, and committed acts of unspeakable violence as he never would have. He knew this, and yet still wished to take her in. Who was she to deny him? Yet, she was cautious and unwanting to have a life with him. How could she truly have a marriage and be a warrior?

He never asked her to put aside the life she had been living. He assured her they would make it work, that even though they were fundamentally different people than they had been twenty years ago, that their love would be enough. But the question remained: Could she do it? Could she watch him suffer and wonder where she went off to when she disappeared from their bed? Could she permit him to allow himself to love a warrior, a woman who was supposed to be without ties? Could she love him and still do what needed done, even when she knew he would not approve? She did not need his approval, but she would want it. Not that she lived her life for him, or that it changed what she would do, but she would have to watch some fight build a wall through their love. So, was it worth permitting herself to be in that position in the first place?