Insomniac||l.s

chapter nineteen

Doncaster, England📍

**

Louis' been weird lately.

We stayed at his house last night and ever since I left the shower something was off about him. He just seemed. . angry?

He would still smother me and apply kisses to my head every once and a while but he was just so tense. I'm no aura reader like whatever-the-fuck he is, but it was off, he was off.

I also noticed my phone ending up on the nightstand when it was on the bed when I left. Maybe he just moved it for a safer-space, it just doesn't make sense though. I have nothing secretive on my phone, it can't be that.

Well, I swear I heard him talking to someone while I was in there. I just figured Lottie needed something or somewhat along the lines. Anyways, it's just really stressing me out, so I'm sitting upright-sweaty in my bed at five a.m.

Why can't my severe anxiety just disappear like Louis' will to hold his emotions?

Worst part is I'm home alone once again because Gemma is out at a college party and mum has another night shift. At least she makes good money.

I just miss having people. What if I was too clingy with him? Oh my God what if- no, he was smothering me.

Actually, more so. . one emotion sort of dominated his anger: Protection. He seemed to be protecting me, but from what? Or who?

I anxiously grabbed my phone and went through my recently calls (which I'm quite stupid to not have done sooner, but I'm quite stupid all together) and I found him.

Josh.

Josh had called me earlier today and it was picked up, I know this because the colour wasn't red. I didn't call Josh, didn't talk to him. . it must've been Louis. Oh my fuck-

My finger quickly went over Josh's contact and it started ringing. He was always up at this hour, smoking something. I think that's why we got along, well, dated. . we both stayed up later.

As I suspected, the phone picked up, "Oh, Harold. What is it?" His voice was calm and almost scary.

"Why did you call me earlier today? And did someone pick up?" I demanded quite directly.

It was silent for a second. "Yeah. I just wanted to apologise, I guess. Louis, your um, boyfriend picked up." His voice was broken. Why was it broken?

"What did you guys talk about?" I wondered, still briskly. I didn't want to talk with him more than I had to.

"He answered with an angry hello, I asked who it was, he gave me his name, I recognised it as your boyfriend, he seemed to be angry about my call." He sighed. "I tried to tell him I wanted to apologise but he was yelling at me quietly. So I just told him I was sorry about ringing his boyfriend, and hung up," Josh explained rather calmly and still quite broken, debilitated.

"Oh," is all I let out. "Okay. . um. Don't call me again, please. For both mine and your sake. I really like Louis." My voice grew equally calm, and all I could hear was his quiet breathing on the other line, then an inhale through a joint.

It went on like that for a while, then he finally spoke, "Right."

So I hung up, because that's it, that's all I wanted to know and I never wanted to hear his voice again.

Then my finger hovered over Louis' contact, but I couldn't. I set my phone down and laid my body down as well, clinging onto the blankets and wishing for sleep.