(Zankie fanfic) Steaming nights..but with who?

Ch.67 Nonna and old habits

Frankie's pov

I was thinking about it after everything with Ari and Zach,and there both ben there for me.I mean,Ari's,my sister,but Zach's my husband and I'm fucking... to old for this shit.There always been there for me.I remember when Nonna past....It was on Zach's and I anniversary when we got the phone call.Zach mom watched the kids and
,So he could take me to a hotel in Florida for the weekend.I haven't talked about it seance,but I need to.It's been 20 years and IV never spoke of it seance,not even when I fell back into old habits,but I'm ready now.I'm going to tell you happened...what pushed me over the edge and if I didn't have Ari and Zach to put me back together and pull me off the Actual edge I wouldn't be here to day.Im going to try to tell you with out breaking down.

Flashback

"Zach!This place is beautiful!"I exclaimed oping our hotel door."All for you baby."He said with a smile.I spun and flopped down on the king size bed."Oh my god,its so soft...and clean."I told Zach sitting up."Not for long."He joked with a smile.I pulled him close and connected our lips,he pushed me back and crawled on top of me.My phone rang and I growled."Leave it,if it's important they'll call back."Zach said then started kissing down my neck.I giggled and pulled of my shirt.Zach kissed down my chest,to my Abs....then my phone rang again.I moaned and Zach grabbed it and turned it off then threw it....laid it on the night stand,it is an iPhone after all.I giggled as he reconnected our lips.He leaned back and started singing 'ET by Katy perry.'and wiggling his hips as he took his shirt off.I couldn't help but laugh.He flopped back down and connected our lips.I flipped us over and started kissing his neck,then his phone went off."Just get it."I told him,still kissing his neck.He reached in his pocket."Hello."Zach answered."Ya,we just checked in."Zach said as I moved lower."What?!When."Zach asked sitting up and pushing me off,he jumped up and through me my shirt and slid his on."Ya we'll be there in 15..see you then."Zach said then hung up."Come on we got to go."Zach said."Who was that?"I asked."Um,frankie,that was your mom...."Zach stalled with tears rolling down his eyes."Zach?"...."Frankie,They put Nonna on Hopis' care an hour ago and sent her home,they don't think she has a lot off time left."Zach said and I couldn't tell who was crying more.We ran out off the room on the 5th floor and ran down the steps.I didn't say anything the inter car ride.Zach and I made it there in 10 minutes.I ran In side,and Mom and Ari stopped me at the door.I hugged them.Ari hade tears in her eyes.Zach was standing in the door way,Holding back tears."Frankie..."My mom crooked out."She,she doesn't remember anyone."Mom told me.i swallowed hard."How long?"I asked whipping away tears,I was failing to hold back.Ari looked at me."Not long,no more then an hour,at max."My mom said whipping tears away."Where is she."I crooked out."In the living room,they gave her a hospital bed,and we set it up in there."Ari said I walked into the room and Saw her and I almost lost it.I walked over to her and grabbed her hand.Zach,Ari and mom stood in the doorway."How you f-felling."I asked.I could fell the tears in my eyes."Hi Frank,I missed you,why are you crying sweetie,Is it Frankie,Dont worry he'll get over that girl he's only 17,he'll find some nice girl and settle down."She said."No,Frankie's fine.He'll be find."I said Rubbing her hand."I know,If you ask me he's got Jason to lean on,there such good friends."She said,And I just giggled."Ya,they good to each other."I said."Frank,why do you have two wedding rings on...Is that,oh Honey I thought you lost that ring."She said.I looked down at my hand saw how I was wearing my Grandpa's wedding ring and mine to."Im glad you found it,It really is a one and only,just like you."She said and my head popped up."what?"I asked."Frank,You felling well,Iv always call you my one and only,ever seance you gave me my wedding ring,remember you told me we had to pass it down to One of our grandkids so he could have it with his one and only,But then you lost it."She said,and a short smile creeped on my face."No,I just put it up for safe keeping."I told her."Good we can pass it down now.I can't wait to see the look on Frankie's face when you give it to him."She said."I know."I said."Frank,I love you.Im so glad that we get to be together.I just feel like I didn't tell you that enough,but we'll have plenty of more years to,It just something I can't put my finger on."She said.A tear rolled down my cheek.I looked over and Mom was holding Ari in her arm,crying,and Zach had tears rolling down his cheek."Trust me we'll soon be able to say it for ever."I told her."Frank,stop taking like that,you say it like where dieing,and you can't die until You walk our little Frankie down the isle,because that boy needs you,more then he likes to admit."She said and tears started poring out of everyone."I know."My voice broke."Frankie loves you,and I love you and Ari and all of us need you so stop talking like that.I don't know what I would do with out you.Frankie's going through a lot,I found another knife missing from the kitchen today,Im worried about him,I don't know what I would do with out him."She said."Frankie's going to be fine,He....he's got you."I said whipping tears away."Frank,I..I don't feel,so hot,Im having some trouble breathing."She said."Shh,Its ok,I love you,god I love you."I said rubbing her cheek."Frankie,is that you?"She asked."Ya,Nonna its me."I said."Why are you crying,She said whipping a tear away."frankie look at me,Im ready,I miss your grandpa,please don't cry."She said then sat back."Nonna,please,dont leave,I need you,I can't do this with out you."I cried tears rolling down my cheeks."Frankie,Everything you need right there."She said pointing to the door way.Zach was in tears."You,love him,You never hid how you feel,Even if your scared,Even if you thing it's just going to blow up in your face,You tell him you love him,because you don't know when you'll get to say it again.Even if your pissed of at him at hate him,You tell him you love him,Because no madder what happens between you to,You to we'll always love each other.It a once in s life time type of love...."She said."My one and only."I intergeagted.She smiled and laid her head on her pillow."Exactly,then you go from there,Frankie,I love you."She said and I see her breathing start to slow and the tears just kept on on coming,from everyone."Frankie...."She whispered...."ya,nonna."I said holding her hand tighter."Promise....promise me....you...you'll...wont lose...him...you need..him.....as much.....as he needs...you."She said trying to catch her breath."I promise."I told her.I eyes flickered shut and He breathing started to stall and I looked over at Everyone and Zach hand his hand over his mouth in tears,trying to hold back his sobs.Nonna breathing slowed,more and more.I gripped her hand tighter."Zach......take good care of my grandson."She said."I will."Zach said gasping and voice cracking as he tried to talk threw his tears."Good,because I'll come back and haunt you if you don't."She joked and everyone giggled for a sec,but it didn't last long as her chest stopped moving.Those where the last words she ever said,But still sear I herd her say as I laid my head on her stilled chest,with her last breath,say."but I know you will."And then it was nothing but silence,for a few moments,before sniffing felled the air.I got up and walked into the bathroom,Didnt say a word,Nothing.I walked into the bathroom and cried.I looked in the mirror and saw my life less eyes,like black holes.I grabbed the razor blade out of reaction.I could feel the world closing in around me.Is it really that easy to fall back into habit.I didn't even hear the nocking on the door.No,just saw the blood dripping into the sink.I could remember cutting across my Arm.I wrapped it up And rolled rolled the sleeve on my jacket down.Washed the blade.Cleaned the sink and floor.The door opened as I through the bloody rage in the trash can.Zach walked in and hugged me."Baby you ok?"Zach asked."Fine...Can we just go back to the hotel?"I asked,and he shook his head.I hugged and Cried with mom and Ari for and haft and hour until the what ever you call um came and got....nonna.Then we headed Back."Baby,what did you do!"Zach yelled.As I took my coat of at the hotel,forgetting about my arm."Oh,I cut my arm the other day on Roses crib."I lied.Zach didn't by it.I couldn't tell if it was pain,disappointment, or hurt in his eyes,maybe all."That wasn't there earlier,Frankie."Zach said and I rolled my eyes."it was to,you just didn't pay attention."I snipped."Frankie,talk to me.Are you....cutting again?Is that what you did in the bathroom."I didn't answer,with word.Zach walked over to me took my arm and unwrapped the badges.I didn't even try to stop him just looked strait ahead.He trough them to the floor."You don't need stenches."He said got the first add kit and with out another word clean and wrapped my arm up in clean bandages.I looked straight at the wall."Going to yell at me now."I asked."No."And it I snapped my head to look at his tear soaked eyes."Nope,there's no point in yelling.Im just going to hold you,until your ready to talk."Zach said,and whipped his eyes.He laid down in bed and I curled up in his arms.About and hour passed,before he started to lightly rub my arm,avoiding the cut.Time ticked away until,about 5:30am.Zach kissed my neck."I love you."I whispered."I love you to."He echoed.i sat up and he followed.I held his hand for a few seconds."Im sorry."I whispered.He kissed my hand."I know."He said.A few minutes passed of complete silence."I sorry."I repeated.I didn't know what to say or what he was thinking.All I wanted to know is what he was thinking,but I couldn't get a read on him."Does it hurt?"He asked and I shook my head."No....what...What are you thinking."I asked.He didn't answer for a few minutes."A lot,How we have two kids at home who needs there dads,not one of us,both of us.I'm thinking what Could have I done to stop it.Im thinking why didn't you just talk to me.Why the hell would you do this.I can't understand why anyone would do this,If I haven't done it myself.You where there for me,then,and I'M&m's here for you now."He said not raising his voice once,even tho I could tell he wanted to."I wasn't thinking...I....I just,dont know what I'm doing anymore.I feel like every time I move I'm just missing up all over again.Everyone around me keeps firing and I can't do anything to stop it!"I yelled with tears rolling down my cheek."I'm not going anywhere,and Frankie,She was ready,she lived a full life,no one lives forever,but the memories and impact she lift on this world will."He told me."I just don't know if I can keep doing this..."I told him."Frankie I need you,rose and James need you,Ari needs you.I can't live with out you."Zach said with a single tear rolling down his cheek."Im sorry.....Im going go for a walk."I said then got up and walked out the door.I walked down the street and it was quite,peaceful,I walked over the old wooden bridge,that had to be a few centenaries old.I was alone.I walked over to the edge and Looked over to the cold water that laid below.I took out my phone with tears in my eyes,and started to film,a live chat with Ari,and Zach.Once I saw that they where on I started talking.

"Hey guys I love you,and um.....you guys mean everything to me and I'm so sorry.I....I love you Zach.And please forgive me.Please tell Rose and James about our story,they need to know it.I miss you already........".

I stopped and took a deep breath.I held my phone over the edge of the bridge.I climbed up on the edge and turned the phone back to me.

"Ari I know your going to do wonderful things in life and make your big brother proud....I love you....."

I sniffed.I looked down and took another breath.I saw how they could see the world around me.I blew a kiss to the phone and ended the video.I through my phone on the bridge.I turned to look at the water and I was blinded by headlights.Ari and Zach came jumping out of the Car and ran over to me,without getting to close.

"Frankie!Get down from there."Zach yelled and I could hear the tears in his voice and fell the one's rolling down my cheek."I can't,just go away."I told him."How did you even find me?"I asked."I know this place like the back off my hand."Zach said."I can't do it anymore."I told him."Frankie,If your jumping in,Im coming in after you."Zach said taking his coat off."Zach stop.Rose and James need a dad."I told him."No,They need us."Zach said then reached out his hand.I didn't look back just down....."Frankie,If your doing this I'm doing it with you."Zach said and then climbed up and was standing Beside me."Zach stop."I repeated."No,Frankie,I love you.I love you more then I love anyone in my life.I need you.....so If you jump,Im jumping to."Zach said.I looked over at him and took his hand.I climbed down and he quickly fallowed.He hugged me so tight,and for so long I thought He was never going to let go."Please don't leave me."He whispered.

End flashback

We never talked about that night ever again.Everything went back to normal after that.I never cut again,when ever it popped into my head I talked to Zach.He never judged,just lessened.One thing I know is that I never felt lower then I did that night.I always though that I was put into the big brother house to save Zach from his Frat boy,pot smoking,drunk life,but now I think It was really Zach who saved me.