XXV. Crimson
I've always connected classical piano with thoughts of death and loss. No matter the joy in a song, somehow I always envisioned a young girl dropping on a rope or a grown man laying on a bathroom floor, surrounded by various empty pill bottles.
Music was my escape in any situation. I depended on it to help me unlock the dam that held back my emotions, help explain my heart, and prove to myself that I'm not the only one in the situation.
As my fingers flew across the keys, I slipped between the state of numbness and heartbreaking depression. When Alex walked into the room, I was in the midst of bawling my eyes out, my fingers unable to slow down let alone stop. I knew the song so well that I didn't have to see the sheet music to play it flawlessly. Another feat of being a siren.
It was like the music was feeding my pain and I was unaware of Alex standing in the doorway just watching me collapse. Eventually she walked in and wrapped an arm around me, squeezing my shoulders. I leaned into her but continued to play, the tears fading away as I slipped back into the numbness.
"You need to come to bed. Its nearly three in the morning. Come on, Adri." She softly placed one of her hands on top of one of mine and my hand slipped off the keys. She interlocked our fingers and pulled me all the way to the room. It wasn't that I was resisting her, I just couldn't find the strength in me to move.
We made it back to the room and she pulled me into bed, pulling me to her chest. Her arm snaked across my waist and she held me as close to her body as she could. I finally fell asleep wrapped in her arms.
Juliet woke me up the next morning, a cup of coffee steaming in her hand. She placed it on the bedside table and kissed my for head before walking out. I sipped on it quietly, gazing out the window. Nobody bothered me for at least an hour, but that changed when Viola came to my room.
"Adriette," She spoke clearly, buckets of sympathy flowing through her voice.
"Let's go. Let's go train." I got up and placed the empty mug down before walking out of the bedroom and down the hall. Viola stared at me before moving to follow after me. I was speed walking, doing all I could to avoid speaking any further.
"You don't need to. If you need time to cope," Viola called after me, jogging to catch up. I just shook my head and went into the room Michael and I had been practicing combat. Moving quickly, I grabbed the boxing gloves and made my way to the punching bag hanging from the ceiling. She just stood helpless at the doorway while I prepared to begin taking my frustrations out.
I took a deep breath before I swung at the bag. It swung back more than I expected but I easily dodged it when it swung back towards me. I started pounding it, quickly slamming my fists as hard and quickly as I could. With my final hit, the chain ripped from the ceiling and the bag fell about two feet away from me. I stared at the bag, my mouth hanging slightly.
"What the fuck just happened?" Daniel's voice sounded like a mixture of shock and confusion. I chewed my lip, shrugging and moving to the weights.
I lay down on the bench and switched into the weight lifting gloves I left sitting beside the bench. I wrapped my fingers around the cold metal bar and lifted. It felt lighter than I'd ever lifted. I glanced at each end and found my max still hanging from the bar. I dropped it and sat up, watching Daniel stare at me with wide eyes.
"What's going on?" I mumbled, staring down at my hands. They looked the same, I felt the same if not a bit confused and the (now) usual depression.
"I don't know. I'm going to get Michael." Viola turned on her heel and rushed down the hall. Daniel walked over to the punching bag and looked at the chain.
"It just needs a new link." He said out loud without looking at me. I mentally called out for Alex and she was in the door in seconds.
She saw the bag laying on the floor and made an odd face, "What happened?" She gestured to the bag.
"Adriette knocked it down." Daniel stood up, pocketing the broken link. I looked down at the bench, not wanting to make eye contact.
"Haha, funny. No really," she gave a humorless laugh, rolling her eyes. I just nodded and got up, walking over to the bag. I squatted and with somewhat difficulty, I lifted it and moved it to the corner of the room.
"Well at least its out of the way now," I mumbled, walking out of the room. I didn't travel more than a few steps until I ran into Michael and Viola. Michael wordless signalled for me to follow him. I did and we entered a small office to which he shut the door before sitting.
"I believe your emotions are driving your abilities closer to their full extent. This can be good and bad." He settled down behind his desk but I continued to stand, staring down at him. I raised an eye at the man sitting before me.
"Can you eleborate?" I crossed my arms, leaning against the wall. Michael let out a heavy sigh, dropping the pen he was fiddling with. It was a moment before he responded, seemingly thoughtful on how to respond.
"You're upset and your powers are being elevated by these uncontrollable emotions. Its bad because you can't control it, its good because your powers can be trained and honed." He grimaced, "It's your choice if you want to use this to your advantage."
I thought about it. Did I want to use these emotions that I got from losing one of my most beloved friends or did I want to wait until I calmed down? What would Mae want me to do?
"If I didn't use this, it would be stupid. She would want me to use this." I nodded, pushing off the wall. He gave me a soft smile and stood up. He reached out for me and began to lead me out of the office. We walked down the hall and stopped before entering the main room.
"Let's get to work."
*
It was late into the night when we finally went to bed. I felt so powerful yet so overwhelmed by this new found strength. Alex wasn't in our room yet and I was too tired to go look for her. I grabbed a towel and went into the bathroom, deep in thought. When I glanced up, I was beyond embarrassed that I hadn't realized the shower was running. Her back was to me and I couldn't stop my eyes from roaming across her body. She turned and my eyes shot up to meet hers. She stopped washing her hair and stared at me for a moment. After a single moment, she smirked and slowly began rinsing her hair. She motioned for me to join her and I quickly stripped and climbed in with her.
"He-" I slammed my lips against hers and shoved her up against the wall, my fingers digging into her hips. She pressed her body against mine and I moaned out loud. I didn't care anymore. I wanted her. I needed her.
*
"I'm so tired," She mumbled, snuggling closer to my body. I was worn out and sore, barely capable of moving. I nodded in agreement, my fingers gently stroking the space right below her belly button.
"I am, too." I mumbled back, finding myself stuck in this tired yet awake state. Alex rolled over and pressed her lips to mine. It was short and sweet because she quickly pulled away to start kissing down my jawline. I tilted my head back, biting down on my lip. Her hands started to trail across my skin and I wasn't sure if my tired state could handle how badly I craved her in that moment.
"Alex," I whispered, pushing up against her. Her hand slipped below the blankets and I got lost in her touch.
I was tired enough to fall asleep now. We were back in the spooning position, her soft snores relaxing my body. I wasn't sure how I would ever sleep without her, but I knew it wouldn't be a very good sleep. My eyes began to flutter shut, happy to be holding this confusing yet amazing beauty in my arms.
Book 2: Outside the Fire is up on my account. (:
