A Tale Of Queens

Remorse

Sa-Alti's heart kept pounding as she made her way to her room. Her body
was hot. And her hands were shaking uncontrollably.

Many emotions were taking over at the same time and she wanted to scream.

First, a weight was lifted off her chest and all the anger was out. But now all that it left behind was regret and misery. Then was the confusion of what her mother said. Who  tried to kill her? Why had she never been told? Was her mother even telling the truth?

She slammed the door open to meet Jyaret waiting for her. As soon as he saw her, his face scrunched up with worry and he got up to meet her.

“What's wrong? You're crying.”

Was she? Sa-Alti touched her cheeks then felt the wetness. She opened her mouth at first but nothing came out. When she tried again,  she found herself bursting into heartwrenching sobs, hiccuping loudly and painfully.

Jyaret immediately took her in his arms, cooing her and rubbing her back.

“Come now, what happened? Did she do anything? Was it something she said?”

Sa-Alti tried to make a coherent statement with all her might but ended up blubbering the same thing repeatedly.

“I said such a-awful things... I'm a m-monster... She hates me...”

Jyaret was even more worried than before. He knew Sa-Alti's tongue could be poisonous when she was pushed to the wall. But he'd never seen her so distressed about something before. He tried to calm her down and brought her to sit on the bed.

Her sobs subsided but she still hiccuped and sniffled.

Jyaret had a feeling that if he asked her exactly what she'd said, then she would start crying all over again. Instead he tried to comfort her.

“Listen. I may not be fond of your mother but I do know that she loves you very, very much.”

This was apparently the worst thing he could have said because once more, she broke down.

“N-no...Not anymore... Jyaret... You don't understand... I-I was so awful...”

The man was puzzled. Was the quarrel that bad?

He said nothing more and just rocked her softly, letting her know that he was there. Gradually, the crying stopped.

“I don't think that she will ever forgive me. I can't even forgive myself.”

Her voice was low and muted.

“Don't say that. You said things in the moment. She said things in the moment. I'm very sure neither of you meant it.”

“I didn't mean what I said. I just wanted to hurt her. I wanted to hurt her s-so much that I was so cruel. I was s-so cruel, Jyaret.”

“It will be fine. You'll see. You cannot take words back. But you can always apologize and change for the better. Don't they always say that actions speak louder than words?”

“What if my actions have nothing on the things I have said? What do I do then?”

Jyaret had no answer.