Health Class❦a.i au

9; warrior

Ella, hi. It's been a few weeks since you, ya know. Left. It's been a living hell. I can't concentrate in my classes, Ella, I think I'm going to fail. I don't blame you for leaving, though. It's not your fault, babe. With the history you've had in your life, you needed a constant vacation. I just wished you would've taken me.

I've been looking after your mother, and let me tell you, she's not doing well. She's torn, Ella. You were her pride and joy, Ella you would've graduated this year. There's no one else for her to put her focus into anymore.

How's paradise up there, baby? I hope you're not hurting anymore, or yourself for the fact. Are you happy? I hope you are staying happy, cos I'm trying to stay positive here. Half the time it doesn't work. I want your hugs, and kisses back.

I found your soundtracks, going through your room. I hope you don't mind- but there's one song that made me think of you. It's your song now, you made it so.

It's "Warrior" by Demi Lovato. And I'm going to write the lyrics to your story.

"This is a story, that I've never told. I gotta get it of my chest, to let it go." You never told anyone about your life, you were by yourself. Once you met me, you were just desperate to get the story out.

"I need to take back the light inside you stole, you're a criminal and you steal like you're a pro." You hated your father. He left you and your mother, after brutally abusing you both verbally. He had too much practice beating you down, and ever since then you've wanted to get back on your feet.

"All the pain and the truth, I wear like a battle wound. So ashamed, so confused, I was broken and bruised." His words hurt you, caused you to think so lowly of yourself. Confused, because people would tell you the opposite, but you were told to listen to your parents.

"Now I'm a warrior, now I've got thicker skin. I'm a warrior, I'm stronger than I've ever been. And my armor is made of steel you can't get in,  I'm a warrior, and you can never hurt me again." You got over your father leaving, you were strong for the moment. You never let what your father say to you affect you anymore. You finally pushed him out for good.

"Out of the ashes, I'm burning like a fire. You can save your apologies, you're nothing but a liar." Need I say more? You slashed everyone out of your life, no one could tell you right or wrong, you just though everyone was lying to you from then on.

"I've got shame, I’ve got scars, I will never show. I'm a survivor, in more ways than you know." You always promised me you'd stop cutting yourself. Many, many scars were shown on your arm, a symbol that you are here, but hell is making it's way to show through your skin.

"There's a part of me I can't get back, a little girl grown up too fast. All it took was once, I'll never be the same." Your depression. You were in it for so long, and you couldn't get that part of your life back. That's when you started harming. It took one cut, and you were never the same.

"Now I'm taking back my life today, nothing left you can say, cause you were never gonna take the blame anyway." You were leaving, and I didn't even know it. I couldn't say anything, because I wasn't there to stop you. I can't take the blame, I knew it wasn't my fault. but I still love you.

Ella, can you do something for me? Don't ever say I don't love you, or that I'm going to move on. I will never ever forget you, your were my sole purpose in life. If I could, I would follow you. But I know you'd give me the silent treatment, and so for that I won't I love your voice, and I miss it. I call your cell, reaching your voicemail just to hear it again.

Until I can force myself to write to you again, Ella darling.

Ashton x

 

 

 

 

 

 

(a/n: I HATE MYSELF WRITING THIS)