but darling, it's just a dream

f u n e r a l // l.h

✧

❝legend says - when you can't sleep at night, it's because you're awake in someone else's dream❞

✧

I had a brother and he was best friends with 5 Seconds of Summer, so I knew the boys and Ashton was my best friend out of the boys. I could always talk to him about anything and he would listen and give me advice on the problem.

The funeral service was at my house. I was dating Luke and when the service started and it was too much for me to handle, so I snuck out the front door of the house and went made sure everything was ready in the backyard.

After everything was perfect I sat down on the ground and started crying, I looked up at the sky and said, "Why did you have to leave me?"

Everyone started coming out and I got up and dried my eyes and fixed my dress.

I went around to thank everyone and make small talk and thank the guests for coming on short notice. I sat down on one of the lawn chairs towards the back of the garden, with my head down playing with my fingers, wondering where Mikey and Calum were.

Ashton come over and engulfed me in a huge hug, I tried not to cry, but failed. I grabbed on to Ash's shirt and clenched it my hands. We were both silent and I once I finally calmed down, I told Ash I had to go to the bathroom.

I looked in the mirror and told myself that my brother would want me to be strong and that I have to get my shit together. I took a deep breath in and then exhaled as I turned the door handlle and then left the bathroom.

I walked into the small crowd to find some fresh air and Ashton gave me another huge hug. I lost it again, he told me, "Don't cry, Tay, I'm here for you," and he rubbed my back.

He took my hand and we sat on the small hill towards the back of the backyard and I just cried.

"Is Luke here?" I asked, through sobs.

"Yeah, I'll text him," Ash said.

"Nah, it's alright," I said sounding sad.

5 minutes later I was greeted with a kiss on the cheek, Luke sat down next to me and I moved my head from Ash's to Luke's shoulder.

Luke intertwined our hands and drew little circles on my hand with his thumb. "You seen Mikey babe?" I asked. "Mikey couldn't make it," Luke said. "Oh, okay," I said sounding sad. I was hurt that Mikey couldn't make it.

"Why did he have to go?" I choked out. "He was looking after me, when I thought it would be funny to go out. It's all my fault Luke!"

I moved my head off Luke's shoulder and took my hand out of Luke's and tucked my knees up into my chest and started crying again.

Luke moved around behind me and hugged me and rested his head on my back. He just sang a couple of songs quietly and whispered things to me.

It was night time now. All the stars in the sky were visible. The moon was shining bright above us.

Eventually, I rested back into Luke's chest and he layed down on the grass and I was resting my body on top of Luke's. My head on his chest, hearing his beautiful heartbeat.

He drew little things in my back. I slowly fell asleep in Luke's arms wrapped around me.

✧

love tay : ) x