Drugstore Perfume [Poetry]

nature can be poisonous

nature can be poisonous

september13twenty20

that old, hallowed love. the kind they talked about in curses and dreams. what kind of sin did we commit to be so torn apart?

was it the way I kept my mouth shut as I gave up, how the tears dried up and seeped into every orifice and became me? did we die when I stopped fighting? it doesn't feel that way, but I like to manipulate myself into believing so.

in fact, it was easy for a while for it to be my own complete fault. sitting on shame like that couldn't last. if it was still stuck in me, I'd be in the sea by now, dissolved with the salt and waves (maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing..).

it's so cruel to call it dead. it isn't. that's the cruelest thing. to live without life. how is there life and death simultaneously? how long can that parallel continue to break someone apart until they give up once and for all? how ill must I become in order for the world to finally embrace me again as it did when I was not born?

and I can't even imagine how you feel. you bottle, and I'm sure that hasn't changed. it's unhealthy, you know. but how could I talk when there's so much nuclear waste in my throat from all those catastrophic events I landed myself in, when I had to fight to survive...

we'll call it a stalemate and both be sad, I guess. while I hope you aren't wilting like me, the way you keep getting summoned in my dreams makes me think otherwise. I hope for a lot of things.

did you let those flowers grow from your mouth? I chewed them down, so upset and angry, and my throat's been scarred with thorns. are they pretty? do they satisfy everyone else? but now you can't speak. it's still a stalemate, and those stems are probably going to wrap your neck too tight one day.

break free before they strangle you. please.