One crazy, celebratory night.
3 confused finest New York bachelors.
A 24-hour food stall.
One confusing, domino-effect kiss.
After a disappointing day, Em decided to treat herself with a takeaway food. She was staring up at the menu on top of the st...
Dedicated to all my fellow graduates struggling during this pandemic :(.
"I'm mad at Disney, Disney.
They tricked me, tricked me.
Had me wishing on a shooting star.
But now I'm twenty something.
I still know nothing about who I am and what I'm not."
- Salem Ilese
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All my life I believed that by working hard, I could reach my dreams. I thought if I suffered now, I could redeem my big reward at the end and live happily ever after. Years later, I realized I was daydreaming through life. The end of the tunnel seemed too far, too painful to endure. Ah, all those cartoons I watched growing up—the ones that talk about love and hope—are just a fiction of our imaginations, a far-fetched reality. They were just money generators to attract kids and make them delusional.
I am the product of modern brainwashing.
No more wishing on a shooting star.
It's all bullshit.
***
Two days had passed since that night, and life was slowly returning back to normal. 87 calls and 31 messages later, my friends eventually stopped trying to contact me. They finally realized I needed space to breathe. Or maybe they've given up dealing with an overly sensitive college friend.
I still remembered the strange incident that happened after as well. I could vividly recall those soft lips leaning into mine and bang! It crash-landed into mine. A shudder ran through my body as I replayed the scene in my head. It was a scary experience. If the pancake stall wasn't around, if I was just really alone in the middle of nowhere, who would've known what would happen to me? He could've taken advantage of me—a small frail girl walking alone at night.
The world was one scary place, full of unthinkable creatures lurking and ready to pounce once they see a worthwhile prey.
But all these aside, today was supposed to be a good day: a day for me to recover from all that had happened. Away from annoying customers, away from friends, and away from creeps lurking at night.
Today was my first day off after days of hustling. Working in retail has its ups and downs. When business is slow during week days, I can chill for a bit and still get paid for not working the entire time. But then, standing all day takes a toll on my back. I was developing a terrible lower back pain from being on my feet all day, so I was grateful for the time off.
I started the day by sitting down on my bed and sipping on a warm cup of instant coffee. Scrolling through the internet, I checked if there's new job postings that I could potentially apply to. Being rejected too many times hurt my confidence. I would sometimes give up before even applying. Why bother wasting time applying when I knew I was going to get rejected anyways. It's a bad mentality to have, but I can't seem to be slightly more positive these days.
