TOUCH (KNJ)

ELEVEN

Ivy's legs and hands feel numb as she drags herself back home from work. She had been mum the whole day yet again. Nobody talked to her after they had seen the glare she gave them when they tried. She was too tired to talk to anybody after what happened in the morning. 

She had woken up in a pretty good mood thinking of Namjoon but it all came to a halt when she found a pillow in her arms instead of her best friend. She had gotten up in an instant after that searching for Namjoon through the whole house until she found a small note on the refrigerator under the small koala magnet. 

"I need a break from you." 

It had read in beautiful cursive font she immediately recognized as his handwriting. Never in her life had she thought she was being so toxic for him that he had to take a break and go away. She called him a dozen times during the day but it went straight to voicemail everytime. He didn't show up at work and since nobody questioned it, it was pretty obvious that they knew he wasn't gonna show up. 

Ivy's footsteps stopped at Hoseok's coffee shop, she wanted to save atleast one of her relationships. It was better to clear everything with him, once and for all. It was pretty late and from outside the shop she could see there no customers, just a very exhausted Hoseok standing at the counter with his elbows against the counter. 

"Oh my god," she whispers when she realizes he was sleeping and his head was about to hit the various candy jars on the counter. She quickly rushed inside and behind the counter, swiftly getting in between Hoseok's body and the counter holding his face in both her hands. 

"Hoseok, wake up," she shakes him slightly and his eyes shoot open landing directly onto her. 

"Ivy?", his voice was equally as surprised as his expressions. She smiles faintly at him, letting go of his face but he grabs her hands again, wrapping them around his torso so her chest was flush against his chest and wraps his own around her shoulders. 

"I missed you, are you okay now?" he asks nuzzling his face in her neck. She shivers slightly before clearing her throat and stepping away from him. 

"I'm alright now. I just needed to clear a few things." He gives her a look before nodding and removing his apron. He turns the sign of the shop to closed and she follows him to one of the tables and both of them sit across one another. 

"So, I just wanted to tell you that," she pauses taking a deep breath not knowing how to phrase it without offending him or making him feel insecure. 

"You can tell me anything baby, I'm here to listen," he says leaning towards her and smiling softly. 

"I, I don't think it's gonna work out between the two of us." Her breath quickens and she shuts her eyes close immediately. He sighs softly and gets up from his seat. 

"Get up," he says sternly, she shoots up from her seat instantly and he sits in her place instead before pulling her onto his lap sideways. Her hands immediately find their way to his neck as support. He places an arm around her waist snuggling and resting his head on her chest. 

"Hoseok, what are you doing?" She asks through gritted teeth. 

"Hug me for a while, I haven't been sleeping for a few days. I know we're not gonna work out but can you atleast do this? Just one time." She hesitantly hugs him back and he smiles to himself. 

"About us not working out, I don't think I'd even be able to be with you. I can't compete with him. What I have are immature feelings that will die over time but he's not like me." 

"W-Who isn't like you?" she questions already knowing the answer. 

"Namjoon. He isn't like me, his love for you isn't like me. I can't stand against him. It's like comparing Picasso to the local painter that sits by the corner of the street," the two of them chuckle at his comparison. 

"I don't think he loves me like you think he does, he's my best friend so of course he cares." 

"I don't think that he loves you, I know he loves you. I've seen it and felt it. I dunno why you haven't realized it yet. Maybe you're just trying to deny it because you're scared or maybe because no one has ever loved you like he does." She takes deep breaths still stroking his back as he starts to close his eyes slowly. 

"Maybe you're right." He hums squeezing her tightly. 

"Do you think you should sleep here like this? Aren't I heavy?" 

"No, it's comfy. Just stay for an hour or so, I'll take a nap." She nods even though he didn't see it and settled the side of her face against the top of his head. It wasn't uncomfortable or scary now because everything was clear between them now and she wasn't afraid anymore. 

She stays there for a while as he takes a nap, soft snores and her humming filling the shop as it rains outside, night fallen completely but the area lit up by street lights and shops all around. 

"You want me to drop you home?" Hoseok's groggy morning voice makes her jump on the spot slightly and he chuckles pulling away. 

"No, I'm actually not that afraid anymore," she says as he stretches upwards, giving her a chance to hop down. he stands up too throwing an arm around her shoulder playfully as he leads her to the door yawning. 

"Send me a text when you get back home," he says as they stand in front of the shop, her apartment visible from afar. 

"I will, I'll see you tomorrow then?" He nods and she leans up, holding the opposite side of his face as she kisses his cheek before flashing him a small smile. 

"Yeah", he whispers back as she turns around walking towards to her apartment taking a piece of him along. 

Things aren't always what they look like. No, his feelings weren't immature and he was aware of that. No, he didn't love her any less than Namjoon but what stopped him from going on was her. She was obviously dumb to not notice what she herself because he saw it the day she let Namjoon inside her apartment but not him. He saw the way she felt so comfortable around him whenever they came by the shop. He knew she would too know it soon enough if not now and it would be even more hurtful to let her go after. If Namjoon was Picasso he was Leonardo too.

After all, one broken heart is better than three even if it was himself.