| O N E |
3:15 A.M.
I still couldn't sleep. No matter how much I force to close my eyes and drift myself to dreamland. I couldn't. I kept sensing as if I was still stuck in that classroom being stared at my fellow classmates, I feel like my soul was being drained by how long they stared at me.
How much more can I really take?
Even now, it still haunts me. That day when my Spanish teacher announced and then the whole school body had known what had happened to Chloe, I felt sick because no one even knew her like I did.
I walked home directly after school, it used to be a very short walk, at least I thought it was when me and Chloe used to walk home together in this very old bricked pavement. Now I felt numb and I feel like it always will be.
I called in sick for a few days. My mom understood, she even called the school and told them about my situation. Funny how they too understood, because losing a best friend was hard. Present tense, is hard.
I can feel myself drifting away, like I'm on high. I want the feeling of numbness to control me. Sometimes when I close my eyes I could see Chloe here lying with me, how we used to paint our nails and read seventeen magazines.
"June, what color do you think best fits me? The Blue or the Red?"
And I would always remind her, "Red, Chloe. Red fits you perfectly."
"God, that was fun", I told myself. "-but it's over now June."
She's not coming back.
• • •
On the afternoon, Mrs. Morrely kindly asked me, if I could maybe help her pack some things from Chloe's bedroom. I couldn't resist the offer.
We've been best friends for years, even her mom and my mom were real tight.
"June, dear. I'll leave you to it for awhile, I just remembered I needed to buy some groceries. I'm very forgetful now...Chloe always used to remind me of these things." she gave me a tight smile.
I forced a smile and nodded back at her. And then she left to buy some groceries while I was here in Chloe's bedroom, stacking up some books and clothes, folding them neatly. Then looking up at some Polaroid pictures we took together way back. I couldn't help but almost shed a tear.
No, June. You've had enough of the crying.
After packing some of the things and placing them in the boxes. I felt a stinging sensation on my arms.
Folding the sleeves of my sweater, I checked to see the scratches almost like claw marks on my arms. They didn't look as much as bad as it did last time. I don't remember where and how I got them, I do remember some stinging sensation when I was in class the day our Spanish teacher gave us that very bad news and when I got home and took a bath. Now though it looks faint, but I could still see some slight red marks.
I shook my head and didn't bother to find out. Right now the thought of the funeral being held a week from now made my stomach churn and my finger tips cold.
I had nothing else to do now that I'm done with the packing of things in the boxes and it's not like I could leave the house. Mrs. Morrely trusted me and so I wait, and I waited.
I lay down on Chloe's bed and slowly I didn't realize I drifted off to sleep.
I could hear faint giggling and then this familiar voice.
