everything in between. | minsung texting au

18

tw // homophobia

the storm was over, and maybe, just maybe, the dark clouds would clear and the sun would show up, with a rainbow by its side.

or maybe it wouldn't.

"is it so bad that I want to do music?" jisung asked a while after they both had woken up. it was around noon now, minho could see orange light bloom into the room through his thick curtains, it's warmth bringing a peaceful, serene atmosphere. minho's arm was tucked under jisung's head and minho was lying on his side, glancing at jisung, who looked just as sleepy as minho himself was.

minho didn't know where the question came from, or what story the question held, but either way, jisung asked a simple question, yet it seemed like it weighed so much, as if one wrong word could have jisung crumbling, with burden, perhaps? or regret? he didn't know. through the dim lighting, minho could only make out the emotionless expression that was blatantly planted on jisungs face.

"music is not a bad thing, jisung. i think you know it too." minho spoke, slowly, calculating his words.

"I know that hyung, but..." jisung trails off, and he really doesn't want to think of the previous night again. he doesn't want to remember the look on his parents faces, the look of pity that the feigned when jisung cried out, the way the words carved into jisung's chest, painfully twisting with each syllable.

but jisung wants to talk about it– no, he needs to talk about it, to let his thoughts scatter out of his mouth, to tell everything to minho,

because that's the effect minho has on him. in not even a month, he's gained jisung's precious trust and jisung's ready to unveil more and more of himself without any doubt in his mind. anyways, it isn't like jisung can keep this to himself, he's bottled up too much and he knows spilling to minho is only gonna make him feel better.

maybe minho noticed jisungs inner conflict, "do you want to talk about it?" he asked, and jisung nodded. he sniffled and scooted closer to minho for comfort before speaking,

"i told my parents I was pan, and they freaked out instantly, my dad yelled at me saying that being part of the disgusting community–" jisung paused, swallowing the aching lump in his throat as a surprised gasped left minho's mouth.

"...that's not even the worst part though," jisung murmurs, he knows minho heard him anyways, "I was expecting it anyways, but still, i feel so disappointed at myself for even expecting and having the little hope of them actually accepting me," jisung stopped again, shutting his eyes as hot tears escaped, burning as they trickled down his cheeks. he sniffled, inhaling for a long second to clear out the toxic pain he felt in his heart, before exhaling heavily as he opened his eyes. he glanced at minho, who gave him a smile, and so jisung continued, feeling a little better, "you'd think that's the end of it, but it gets worse. they grabbed the sopa letter and tore it right in front of me, as if they were proving a point. they said they'd keep me locked up until I would get rid of this d-disease-" he didn't even know when he started to full on cry, but god, did he feel his own heart scream in pain as he clenched his jaw, feeling his head ache due to all the crying.

"when they tore the letter, i think i finally realized how much they hated letting me go to sopa." there, he said it. the realization that had been bothering him for so long, like a scar engraved on him, although he didn't think of it always, the thought was there in the back of his mind, sucking any piece of hope that would cross his mind.

jisung shuddered as an image of his parents face flashed in his mind, they looked at him with so much resentment. when they'd tear his only opportunity; his dream, they smirked, one that spoke for itself, and jisung didn't understand how a parent could find satisfaction in their own child's cries.

the ripping of the paper sounded so painful, a wail for help. it felt like needles to his ears, and jisung could still feel the scarring sound at the back of his head, wailing and wailing until it was all he could hear.

jisung's hands were shaking then, and they were definitely shaking now.

and then he felt warmth, just soft fingertips prodding against his own, before the hand slipped into jisung's own, fingers interlocked,

and when minho's gave his hand a small squeeze of reassurance,

jisung was reminded that he wasn't alone; he had someone who believed in him, someone that accepted him, someone who gave jisung strength.

someone that wouldn't belittle him.

now, jisung did feel selfish, as he curled into minho's body, as he pathetically fisted his hands into minho's shirt, holding him closer than ever like as if letting go would mean letting go of minho as a whole, like giving up the only comfort he had at the moment. as he cried and cried, letting go of everything he had been holding back.

unexpectedly, jisung felt like his head was floating, and before he could calm down, his vision blackened out as his fragile body fell limp into minho's arms.

🌱

this was all over the place but like so we're jisungs emotions skdioekdke I'm extremely unsatisfied with the ending but I had to end it one way or the other djdkdj anyways I've been kinda out of it for the past week but I really tried to portray the most of jisungs emotions, well atleast as far as I could. this is supposed to be painful but I just feel emotionless lmao idk if that's me being emotionally numb or the fact that my writing is actually shitty but whatever lmao bye

the end of the chapter will make sense once the next chapter is out jdjdks don't worry jisung isn't dying or shit I'm not gonna pull that card on y'all

also I didn't proofread this so pls lmk if there's any spelling errors or grammatical errors🧍🏻‍♀️

200922