Heidi's POV
I stayed standing while everyone sat down to eat. I had to make sure the babies didn't throw what they had, and that the other three didn't spill anything, or make a mess.
I have to say though, Newt and Hero did well, their friends are hot.
But my brothers are normal, I'm a freaking basket case.
I turned to the TV as CSI Miami played.
I kept getting the feeling that someone was looking at me, and I knew who, and I was flattered.
I looked over my shoulder and he was laughing with the other boys, it was so nice to see my brothers with friends. A lovely thing friends are. Seeing them like this just reminds me of all the scenarios I've made up, of what I'd do with my friends.
I mean look, I am a very privileged girl. I have a beautiful home, beautiful family, nice things, but I still feel like I'm missing something. I have all these accomplishments, 7 PhDs, I run studies, experiments, I help cure diseases, but I don't feel fulfilled. I don't know if it's this suppressed desire to have acceptance from my dad, from people my age, for friends. But there's this hole in me, and no amount of studying or degrees is going to help me figure out how to fill it.
But I look at the six of them, laughing and enjoying their time, and for a second, I just don't remember what I'm so angry about.
"Oi. You hear?" Hero said snapping towards me.
"Qua??" I asked annoyed he pulled me out of the split second of peace.
"It's dad." He said pushing the phone towards me.
"Hello?" I said into the speaker.
"Hey kid, I need you to be prepared to do a run through of training, with Parker."
"When?" I asked.
"Monday morning. The uh secretary of state, will be there."
"Oh. The man that referred to me as a vigilante, on uh national television, during your court order."
"I need this to be perfect. Prove you're Avenger quality. This is the time to prove yourself kid. Remember all the times you didn't think you could do it, then do it."
I swallowed hard and already felt stressed and pressured. I looked up to see Newt looking dead at me, knowing how impatient he is, itching to know what's going on.
"Show everyone you're more than a pretty face and a big brain. Show them how great you are."
"Understood." I said despite the lump in my throat. "I'll be ready."
"You already are. Polish it up."
And then he hung up.
I looked down at the phone and hung it up from my end and placed it down.
"What's dad say?" Klaus asked.
"Mind ya business." I said slightly hitting him upside the head.
Harry stares at me chewing oddly seductively and I had butterflies.
I now had a lot of work ahead of me. If I nailed this presentation, it will be enough. I can earn my spot as an Avenger, finally. The months and months of training, early mornings, strategic game planning, and countless ass whoppings, could finally be worth it.
With a clearer head now, I realized, I'm not built for friends. I can offer myself, to the greater good. I needed to be selfless. The things I could contribute, without distractions, far outweighs what would happen if I let it all go. Ugh but this voice, this little hopeless romantic inside of my head speaks without any thought, any reconsideration. And she reminds me. What is life without love?
A life without love is a lonely way to live. It's awful not to be loved. It's the worst thing in the world. It makes you mean, and violent, and cruel. And I do not want to be like how my dad was before Pepper. As we get older, we start to develop the character traits that would have rescued our parents.
"All done." Nellie said pushing her plate away and jumping down from her seat. I realized I had zoned out for quite some time now, and everyone was nearly finished.
Newt grabbed his plate and a few of the others and walked over to put them in the sink.
He leaned over to me and I didn't dare look him in the eyes, he could read me like the front page.
"You wanna talk about it?" He whispered.
"Yeah I do. But not now. Enjoy yourself."
Everyone dispersed and went their ways. I stayed out and gripped to the edge of the island in the middle of the kitchen. I chewed on the piece of pizza in my mouth slowly and vigorously. I squeezed my eyes trying to calm myself.
I exhaled sharply and felt pools of tears in my eyes. I looked up to discourage them from falling.
Some time had passed now. I stayed in the kitchen on my computer, reading through instructions my dad had sent me for the presentation. I watched some of the training videos that we record and where my dad had pointed out my mistakes. The sun had set now and it was dark besides the light from my screen.
I heard russelling behind me and I knew Newt would come down, as nosy as he is, to ask me what that was all about.
"Pas maintenant, s'il vous plaît."
"Sorry I uh, don't know what you said."
My head turned so quickly my neck cracked a bit.
"Didn't mean to interrupt. Just grabbing a few beers." Harry said dimmed in the light. I laughed out of pure embarrassment and felt my cheeks burn. This is strange, I'm never wrong.
"No it's, it's fine. I thought you were my brother."
"Whatcha watching." He asked noisily. "It's almost 2 am."
I wasn't aware with how late it was, and out of pure adrenaline I pushed my laptop closed and stammered.
"Just uh, work stuff."
He sipped his beer and stood unconvinced.
"Mm. Work." I scoffed at him and rolled my eyes.
"You should get back upstairs. Or they'll think you're up to no good." I replied.
"You comin up?" He asked eyeing me.
It was late now, and I had no weekend with the training I'll have to endure, so it would technically be in my best interest to head upstairs.
I ushered him out of the kitchen and followed behind.
"You know, I find you very attractive." Harry said as we headed up the staircase.
If only he knew me, I wouldn't seem half as pretty.
"You should watch yourself. My brothers are protective." I said flattered, and unsure how to answer.
"Most girls would just say, 'thank you."
"Do I seem like most girls?"
He chuckled deeply and I felt my knees weaken as a dimple indented his cheek.
"No not really. Seems you've got a brain."
"And two crazy brothers." I reminded him.
We walked back into Newts room, they were still playing that god damn game.
"Found him lingering around. Looked like he was about to steal." I said jokingly.
"Out of all the shit in this house you could only manage to steal a beer?" Hero said mockingly. Harry shrugged his shoulders taking a sip with that smug look on his face.
"Anyway I'm going to bed." I said hugging Newt from behind the couch, around his neck, and ruffling his hair.
"Boys. Goodnight." I said as I began to exit.
"No goodnight kisses?!" Harry asked with his back to me.
"Mwah!" I said blowing a kiss.
"Don't be up all night playing this game. It'll rot your brains."
"Yes ma'am!" Hero said, continuing to play.
I closed their door and checked on everyone else. Babies were sound asleep, Nellie was curled ontop of her covers peaceful, Klaus was spread out everywhere, and Kalel was tucked in as neat as possible. Back in my room I climbed under the covers and tried not to think about all the shit that was worrying me.
