Becoming Magical [2]

C H A P T E R - 3 0

Sophie shielded her eyes as she approached the glowing gates, afraid of what might happen if she focused too intently on the light. Her light leap home from school had made her head fuzzy, and leaping to Everglen had made it even worse.

Or maybe it was the nerves.

All the hairs on her arms were sticking straight up, and her knees knocked together as the gates swung open. Edaline—who'd been spending most days there—gave her a sad smile as she held out her hand. Sophie took it, leaning on her as they made the long trek to the house.

"Sophie Foster returns," Alvar said, appearing out of thin air from his spot on the steps outside the mansion. "Welcome to the most miserable place on earth."

She couldn't argue with that. Especially with the raspy, eerie song ringing in the background. "What's that sound?"

"My mom. Today she's singing."

"Singing?"

Alvar sighed. "My mom studied music with the dwarves. She thinks it'll bring my dad back. Just like making his favorite foods should've done yesterday and showing him every picture we've ever taken the day before."

"It's hard to let go," Edaline whispered, wiping a tear. "I'd better go check on her. Will you be okay?" she asked Sophie, and Sophie nodded, even though she felt anything but okay.

"You came to see Fitz and Biana?" Alvar asked, motioning for her to take the seat next to him.

"Yeah—if they'll see me."

He shrugged. "Everyone handles this stuff differently. My mom's trying to 'fix' it. Biana's hiding and not talking to anyone. And Fitz is trying to figure out who's to blame."

Meredith appeared beside him and said, "More like anger tantrums. He seriously needs to control his anger."

"Me," she whispered, feeling tears burn her eyes when Alvar nodded.

"And Prentice. And the Council. He's basically mad at the world."

Sophie watched Alvar shoo away a fly that was buzzing around his face. She felt about as small and unwanted.

"Should I not go in, then?"

"No, you're here. You should see them. Maybe it'll help. Something has to."

That left her no choice but to get up and head inside. But before she opened the door, she turned back to Alvar. "How are you doing?"

He smoothed his hair and gave her a weak smile. "It's one day at a time."

Meredith stepped forward and guided Sophie in.

--------------------------------------------------

Sophie had hoped Fitz and Biana would be separate, so she could talk to them each alone. But she could hear them both in Everglen's gigantic kitchen and had no choice but to head there and face the firing squad.

Biana froze when she saw her, turning into a Biana statue that didn't move, didn't blink, and barely breathed. That was way better than Fitz, though. He slammed his bottle of lushberry juice on the table as he stood and snapped, "What are you doing here? Why did you bring her in Mer?"

Meredith ran her fingers through her hair and said, "She's here to check on you all. I can't say no that, can I?"

"I . . . just wanted to check on you guys and see if there's anything I can do."

"No—you've done enough, thanks."

The words stung, but she'd heard them before. And she'd been expecting them. She'd thought about telling them she might have found a way to fix Alden, but it wasn't right to get their hopes up until she knew for sure. So she went with the answer she'd practiced, reminding herself that she was there to help them. "If you want to blame me, go ahead—"

"Wow, I didn't realize I needed your permission," Fitz interrupted. Meredith just ran her fingers through her hair and rubbed her face.

Sophie ignored him, sticking to the script she'd rehearsed the whole walk there. "I just want you to know that I know you're going through a lot and . . . if blaming me makes that easier for you—do it. You don't have to feel bad later or apologize. I understand."

"Oh, you understand?" He laughed and glanced at Biana, but she was still in stunned statue mode. "So you really get why I'm mad, then?"

She didn't, but her best guess was, "Because I went to Exile with him instead of you, and you think that would've changed something."

"No. Because you went with him even though you were hiding the fact that your brain has problems!"

"What?"

He stalked closer. "You told me that day—when you did that weird thing with the blinking. You told me you were getting headaches. And you told me you were going to talk to Elwin. But I asked Elwin. He had no idea. Not until you came back faded. And I'm guessing my dad didn't know either—did he?"

"No," Sophie mumbled, trying to sort through the questions and memories and horrifying possibilities that were crashing around her head.

Was he right? Did that make it worse?

"That's what I thought," Fitz growled. "So you let him bring you, let him trust you with his life, and you never warned him something might be wrong."

"I told him I didn't want to do it but he said it had to be me!"

"Yeah, well, maybe he wouldn't have said that if he'd known you were damaged!"

The word felt like a slap in the face.

Damaged.

Was that what she was?

"I think that's enough, little brother," Alvar said, appearing in the room. Sophie's head was spinning too much for her to wonder how long he'd been there. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered if she was damaged.

Fitz rolled his eyes and mumbled something about his brother being clueless as he grabbed Biana's hand and dragged her out of the room. Meredith looked at Sophie and transmitted I'll look after them. And then she followed them out of the room.

"You okay?" Alvar asked as Sophie fought back her tears. She tried to nod, but she was afraid if she moved, she might crumple to the floor in a heap.

Alvar moved closer and grabbed her shoulders. "Hey. Don't let what he said get to you. Even if he's right—which I doubt he is—it was guilt that broke my dad. Guilt for something that happened a long, long time ago—before you were even born."

But she was the reason behind that too.

Alvar sighed. "Look, I don't know how to make you believe me but just . . . remember, if you fall apart, then all of this was a waste. Breaking Prentice led us to you—and my dad always believed you were the key to everything. It's why he worked so hard to find you. So if you let the guilt break you, then everything he did was for nothing. Do you want that?"

"No," Sophie whispered, repeating his words until they cleared the fog from her head. "You're right—I won't let this break me."

"Good," he whispered back.

He seemed to realize he was still holding her shoulders and let her go, dropping his arms to his sides. "You should probably head home. Before my idiot brother starts any more drama."

She nodded, but not because she was afraid of seeing Fitz. She needed to get home and come up with a plan—a real one this time.

Alden gave up everything to save her. It was time she did the same for him.