JB's POV
I woke up in a sweat. A bad feeling had been stirring in my stomach for a while now. Worry and fear would overcome me at night.
I couldn't get this girl out of my mind. I had so many questions that only she could answer. So many problems that only she could solve. I wish I could just lay on her chest like old times and all my worries would disappear. These thoughts go as quick as they come because I snap back into reality.
My reality is I'm stuck looking at these blank four walls for the next 18 months. I was hoping for an early release but it didn't look like I would be getting it. Even if I was to be released, I knew what I yearned for would not be given to me. I had fucked up and it was killing me.
Amirah wouldn't understand why I did what I did, she wouldn't understand that it was for her own good. She had so much potential and I didn't want to drag her down. It would have killed me to see her knowing I couldn't touch her, to see the forlorn look on her face when visits would be over.
I wonder if she had moved on, anytime I would ask LK he would shrug his shoulders and change the subject instantly. My heart sunk at the thought of another man being in her presence, let alone getting the same treatment as I used to get. Selfishly, I wanted her to have not given up on me. Wishful thinking was the only thing getting me by in this shitty place.
Amirah's POV
These couple months with Khalil had been bliss. He respected the fact that I had just come out of a relationship. I felt no pressure. He was really sweet, he'd send me flowers just for the sake of it. He would offer to drive me anywhere I wanted even though he knew I had my own car. I was really starting to grow fond of him.
I still thought of Jeremiah at times but I had to accept his decision. He cut me off so I would not wallow any longer. Especially not when right now I had a man who was willing to wait on me to be ready and I would be a big fool to let him slip away. It was difficult for me as the boys started coming around again and I had to hear about him from time to time. Only by accident though, they tend to speak about him when I leave the room and if I enter, everyone goes silent or changes the subject. Sometimes I want to ask about him but I remember it is no longer my place to care.
Right now I just wanted to focus on me and my bag. There was money to make, I can't be depressed over a man forever.
Inside of me, there was a small glimmer of hope in me that Jeremiah would change his mind hence why I decided to keep my tattoo. The small speck of hope diminished every day though as I was coming to realise he wasn't gonna call or write to me.
Whilst I would love to hate him as it would make moving on with Khalil so much easier, I couldn't bring myself to. Deep down I understood why he did what he did. I just wish he gave me the opportunity to choose what I wanted for myself.
Naz's POV
Exhausted. That is the only way I could describe how I am feeling now. The last couple months have been a whirlwind for me and the girls. A circle of toxic entanglements. I don't know what possessed us to go and deal with such a dangerous group of boys but now we couldn't go back on it. What's done is actually done.
I was never a girl to do relationships, I still don't. Me and Ramarn had started off as friends with a little bit of benefits here and there. For me, it was just sex at first. I think it was for him too. I didn't plan to catch feelings but after spending more time with him, I just couldn't help it. I found myself missing him after 2 days of not speaking. Always wanting to be around him even if we were sitting in pure silence. I just craved his presence.
However when the girls would ask me, I would deny it. He could never find out. It would ruin our whole arrangement as I'm sure he doesn't feel the same way. However I can't help but think about what would happen if he did.
I try not to imagine the what ifs because I'm just going to break my own heart. We already had enough passa in the group as it is, I didn't want to add my own. I've been hiding a secret and this secret could blow everything.
So we've finally heard from Naz. What's her secret?
Should JB contact Amirah ?
Should Amirah move on?
Hope you enjoyed guys I know it's been a while I'm even a bit rusty but don't forget to vote and comment x
