The Sound of Rain (A Zourry AU)

Chapter 6: Operation Avoid Epicly Fails

My next few days at school were fine. I didn’t talk to Zayn nor Harry. I didn’t have any classes with Harry, so it was much easier to avoid him. Zayn, however, was a whole different story entirely. I had three classes with him. In two of them, he sat on across the room from me, but he still sat in front of me in the one. I thought about changing seats, but I thought that would have been showing weakness. If one of us was gonna move, it could be him. So what if he sat in front of me? I didn’t have to associate with him. After all, I was tired of people.

Zayn was doing a great job at pretending I was nonexistent. He didn’t look at me, talk to me, and he ignored it when anyone said my name (not that it occurred often). Even though I didn’t want anything to do with him, I constantly found myself wishing he would look at me, even if just for a second. I wanted so badly to catch him looking at me, giving in.

As much as I hated it, I wanted to have everything to do with Zayn. I wasn’t sure why. I just knew I did. Maybe it was because he had stood up to me to protect his boyfriend--- which I found absolutely adorable. Either way, I found myself wanting to be around him more and more, with every stolen glance I had.

The first day at lunch, I caught Harry looking at me like he wished things were different. In all honesty, I felt bad for what I had said. I honestly hadn’t meant for it to be so harsh. They just kept pushing me… I mean, I understood where they were coming from, but I wasn’t gay. I had never been gay, and I wasn’t planning on it anytime soon. And they kept going and going. So I snapped! I snapped and said hurtful things that were offensive and unnecessary. But you have to understand… I’m tired of people.

Oh my God, Lou. Why are you arguing with yourself? Why?

Today was the third day that I had been eating lunch alone. There was a bench outside in the garden area where you were allowed to eat. I was currently sitting on that bench, alone, listening to my music, being content.

I closed my eyes and listened to Taylor Swift’s song If This Was A Movie. I don’t even remember who had showed me this song, but I was addicted to it now. My favorite part was just beginning as I felt a body next to me. I glanced over at who it was, and my jaw dropped at the same time my heart involuntarily skipped a beat.

Zayn didn’t look at me, but kept his gaze on something in front of him. My music kept playing, so I didn’t focus on him entirely. If I ignore him, he’ll leave, right? But did I want him to leave? No, not really. He glanced over at me for a spilt second. I almost smiled before I caught myself.

“Uh, hi…” I said, barely hearing myself. I decided it would probably work out better if I wasn’t rude to him.

I’m not one-hundred percent sure, but I think he said, “Harry broke up with me.” I wasn’t sure if I heard him correctly or not. I wasn’t looking at him, and my music was loud, so I could have easily misheard him. I yanked out my headphones and turned to look at him.

“What?” I asked, wanting to make sure I heard him correctly.

“Please, don’t make me say it again,” he said, almost begging. For the first time, I could really see how much he was upset about this. His eyes were a much darker brown than usual and they were red and puffy. I assumed he had been crying. The expression he wore was emotionless, but his eyes were crying out. My first thought was, He’s a guy, it’s just a break-up, why would he cry? Then I remembered he’s gay, and it all made sense. And it was obvious how much he really cared about Harry. Even though I didn’t really care for him, my heart ached for him.

I opened my mouth to say something, but then I closed it again. What could I have said? I’m sorry? No, he didn’t care. Why? No, it’s none of my business why Harry broke up with him. I’ll admit that I was curious, though. They had been so cute together, just the other day. Being all lovey-dovey and happy. I could not think of one reason why that could have changed.

I was still looking at Zayn, but for the first time since that small glance, he turned to look at me. He smiled weakly and I had the strongest urge to pull him in to a hug. “Go ahead, Louis. Ask why he did it. I know you wanna know. I can see it.”

I shook my head, starting to say no, it was fine, but he interrupted me.

“Fine. I’ll do it for you. Why did Harry dump you, fag?” he said in a tone different from his pretending to be me. Though I would not have said it like that at all. “Well, Lou, I don’t know. He said he knew I liked someone else, even if I couldn’t see it yet myself. But I have no idea what he’s talking about. I don’t like anyone else. And I’m pretty sure I would know if I did. But I don’t. I love him. I love him, Louis. And he just ended it.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, at loss for words.

“Yeah, me too,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

“Is there any chance you can win him back?”

He sighed. “No, there’s really not. He’s really done this time. I know you can’t tell, but we’ve been fighting a lot lately. It’s no one’s fault in particular, but it’s still going on. I don’t even know why. At first, it was just small bickering every once in a while. Then it became more often. After a few weeks, it was a constant argument at every minute of the day. We never just talk anymore. We’re hardly ever cute anymore. Don’t get me wrong, we still care about each other. We still cuddle and appear cute, but the minute we start talking, it turns in to an argument. And one of us always has to start it.” He shook his head slightly. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you don’t care. I just wanted to tell someone.”

I began to like Zayn as a person right then and there. Not as anything more, just as a person. “No, it’s fine. I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I’ll be here if you need someone,” I told him.

He grinned. “I know. You have a crush on me,” he teased.

I immediately denied it, though of course, that just made me look guilty. He smiled and mumbled the word “denial.” I decided to try to lighten the mood. “Oh, yes, Zayn. I am totally in love with you. My heart stops every time I see you,” I said, jokingly. It dawned on me that the last part was true. My heard did stop every time I saw him. And I did get butterflies. Maybe… just maybe… I didn’t like guys, but I did like Zayn.

It was a few moments before he said anything. And when he did, his voice was so quiet that I almost didn’t hear him.

But I did hear him.

And that small sentence, those two words--- they changed my whole way of thinking.

His voice may have been quiet, but I still heard him say, “Mine, too.”