Disarmingly Charming: An Annora Park Novel: Book Two

Chapter Five: Bond in Blood and Battle

Had Chamuel known? Did The Graces foresee this? Stupid Annora, of course they had, they were the bloody Graces.  I had to be the stupidest Treader alive not to have seen this coming.
   "I did not know, amour." Chamuel says, as if reading my mind. Then again, he probably had read my mind.
   I glare at him.  "Don't give me that shit, Chamuel.  How can you even look at me straight in the face and lie to me?"
   "High Hosts cannot lie, my beloved.  I tell you now, I did not know of this revelation."
   "But you knew something..." I look between Chamuel and Branuel and I know the expression on my face isn't a pretty one.
   "Only that the Dark Fae King was hiding something, my beloved.  And yes, I knew that it had something to do with your history.  However, I had no idea that it harkened back to your parentage nor to your lineage."
   "Are you honestly going to sit there and tell me that your precious Graces didn't fill you in on this?"
   Chamuel sighs.  "The Graces are...complicated, beloved."
   "Don't call me that."  And I ignore the hurt in his eyes.
   "And now I am to be punished for something I had no knowledge of?"
   "I don't know if I believe that you had no knowledge of this, Chamuel."
   "Oh, my amour, you shatter my heart." Chamuel makes a move to take my hand and I pull away.
   "And you..." I turn accusatory eyes onto Branuel.  "You drop a bombshell like that, and then you just go silent Sally on me?"
   "I do not know what to say that shall make this better, flùr meadhan oidhche..."
   "Say something...say anything." I'm nearly shaking in my fury at this point.  "You said that you're responsible for my lack of family...for...for...my suffering!" I finish on a shout.
   Branuel rubs his eyes and suddenly looks incredibly weary.  "I knew what you were the moment I realized you had killed my nephew with Fae Steel...Fae Steel you had wished for."
   "So, you knew I was a DeJinn."
   Branuel nods his head curtly.  "A DeJinn Fae, flùr meadhan oidhche, the rarest of Fae in existence...the only one in existence in fact."
   "And..." I swallow—hard, "...I'm the only one in existence because...of...of..." I don't even want to say it, but I do, "...because of you?"
   "Yes."
My already cracked heart seems to split wide open.  How? How was this possible?  I'd only just learned of my lineage and now I was to believe that Branuel my Branuel, was somehow responsible for the fact that I was the last of my kind.  How did I get past this? How did WE get past this. Could we get past this?
"Let him explain, amour.  You are thinking the worst without even giving him a chance to explain."
   "What the hell is there to explain, Chamuel?!" I shout, choosing to yell at him instead of speaking to his mind.  "He had every chance to explain when I lay bleeding out...or when I was recuperating from the grievous wounds I'd suffered at the hands of his nephew.  But no!" I shoot Branuel a look full of loathing, "Instead he chose to run...run and hide the truth from me."
   "I did not run, my queen," Branuel says suddenly, quietly, "...I chose to leave due to shame...and..." he swallows, "...fear."
   I snort.  "And what the fuck did you have to fear, Branuel.  You don't fucking fear anything, remember."
   "Untrue, my queen, I feared you."
   "Now I know you're full of shit, Branuel.  You've never feared me, hell you made sure to tell me on many occasions how little you feared me."
   "The hate, the loathing I see in your eyes now for me...I knew it would be there the moment you discovered my part in the annihilation of your family.  I feared it.  I still fear it.  I feared the loss of your...your..."
   "Don't!" I say coldly,  "Don't you dare say love.  You've never loved anything or anyone...you certainly never loved me." I watch as Branuel closes his eyes as if in pain.  "No, you don't get to feel hurt now.  Not now."
   Branuel opens his eyes and some of the lost fire in his shining orbs returns.  "I am not allowed to feel? Who are you to tell me I cannot feel, my queen?"
   "Who am I?" I narrow my eyes, "I'm the girl you just admitted to having wronged...hell, more than wronged.  You just told me that you annihilated my family."
   "I did not say that exactly, flùr meadhan oidhche."
   "YOU DID!" I shout.
   Branuel narrow his eyes and clenches his hands into tight fists.  "It was war, flùr meadhan oidhche."
   "What?"
   "War!" Branuel shouts back.
   Suddenly I'm more confused than ever.  "What was war?"
   "The Fae DeJinn perished during a war for supremacy."
   "Then why did you say that you were responsible?"
   "Because of the part of played in the war, midnight flower." Branuel moves slowly closer to me but stops when he sees me stiffen.  "How much do you know of my father, midnight flower?"
   Honestly I didn't know much.  I chew on my lower lip before answering.  "Only what Terrenel and Chamuel told me."
   "And what did they tell you, be truthful with me."
   "Why, it's not like you've been truthful with me."
   "Please, midnight flower..."
   It's the please that gets me.  And I swallow.  "I was told that your father won the Dark Court through blood and battle...that he was merciless and...and..."
   "Finish," Branuel says quietly.
   "That he reveled in it.  Reveled in the pain and misery he caused."
   "That is true...my queen.  Luothor Or De A'lanuel was all of that and more.  He was...a monster of the worst kind.  He cared for nothing except blood and power...he loved nothing, not even...his son." Branuel rubs his palms against his thighs and sighs.  "He taught me the same...that there is nothing, that you have nothing if you don't have ultimate power, ultimate ruler ship.  And that you hold onto that power through fear, torture, pain."
   "I still don't understand, Branuel," I murmur.  "How does this have anything to do with me?"
   "Oh my midnight flower, it shames me to say it has everything to do with you.  You see just as Terrenel Tir Oben recognized your royal lineage, so too did I, the moment I laid eyes upon you."
   "You guys keep saying that, but I don't get how it's even possible.  I was told you can't be both Light Fae and Dark Fae, and yet...somehow I am.  And, apparently I'm supposed to be royal to boot?"
   Branuel's shoulders sag and somehow it seems wrong on him.  He's not supposed to look so dejected, I mean, he's the mighty Branuel Or De A'lanuel, the great and feared Dark Fae King.
   "The Goddess has a cruel sense of humor," he says bitingly, "...or perhaps this is my penance." Suddenly he straightens and rolls his shoulders back.  "You are not supposed to be able to be both Light and Dark Fae, however, long, long ago, in our history there were three courts, flùr meadhan oidhche."
   "Three?"
   "Yes, midnight flower, the Court of Light, the Court of Dark and Shadow..." he takes a deep breath, "...and the Court of Wishes and Dreams."
   And then it clicks.  "The Court of Wishes and Dreams...that was the court ruled by the Fae DeJinn, wasn't it?" I say, and it is more statement than question.
   "Yes.  And it was by far the most powerful of courts for you see the Fae DeJinn were the very best of us, certainly the most powerful.  They had only one weakness..."
   "Which was?" I ask.
   "They ruled through love."
   I can't help it, I laugh, laughing even harder when I see Branuel's affronted expression.  "Oh come on.  They ruled through love...and you're saying that this was their weakness.  Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"
   "No more ridiculous than a Fae DeJinn Treader Angel."
   I roll my eyes, "Touché.  Okay then oh great one, explain to me how ruling through love was somehow a great weakness."
   "It would not have been if not for my father.  You see, my father was not always the ruler of the Court of Dark and Shadows...the Fae DeJinn held both the Court of Wishes and Dreams and the Court of Dark and Shadows...although our court was much different when they ruled it."
   "Why do I get the feeling I'm not going to like what comes next."
   "Because you shall not." Branuel sighs.  "Please, midnight flower, I only ask that you hear me out and...and...try not to judge me too harshly."
   "Just get on with it."
   "Luothor desired, craved, power more than anything else.  Nothing, nothing came close to his desire to rule over all, but mostly to rule the Court of Dark and Shadows, he felt it should belong to him, not to upstart Fairies whose only claim to the court was the fact that they granted wishes and encouraged love and peace.  Then when the rumors began...well, that is what doomed the Fae DeJinn."
   "What rumors, Branuel?"
   "The rumors of how one could obtain the power of the Fae DeJinn if they sucked out their essence."
   I gasp, and suddenly begin to shake as the memory of G'harna and how he had tried to do the very same thing to me hits me.  "Oh my God."
   "God had nothing to do with it, midnight flower," Branuel suddenly shoots Chamuel a dirty look, "I often wondered how HE could allow such carnage to befall the Fae DeJinn."
   Chamuel stiffens and narrows his eyes.  "HE rules the Heavens, and HIS plans are not to be questioned.  How do you not know that this was not orchestrated so that we would be here, now, at this very moment, in this very spot, as we are now?"
   "I'm with Branuel on this one," I spit out, "What kind of God allows such horror to happen?"
   "The kind that knows all happens for a reason, in it's due time and course of place."
   I snort, "You've been drinking too much of the Kool-Aid, Chamuel."
   "What does that mean, amour?"
   "It means you've been brainwashed."
   "I most certainly haven't been brainwashed.  I am the Leader of the Host and answer to HIM."
   I roll my eyes.  "Exactly my point.  Oh, whatever, you go on believing that the Big Guy can't do any wrong."
   "HE cannot, he is incapable of it."
   "Oyyyy..." I turn back to Branuel, effectively dismissing Chamuel.  "So...you were saying."
   "Just remember, midnight flower, that you wished for the truth...and the truth is not pretty."
   "Neither is my life, pretty that is, so just spit it the fuck out already."
   "Once Luothor heard the rumors he was determined that he would have the power of the Fae DeJinn and thus be unstoppable...be the supreme leader."
   And I laugh a little at that, I can't help it, I'm a nerd.
   "What's so amusing?"
   "You said Supreme Leader...like, as in, Star Wars."
   "Star Wars...that movie correct?"
   "Yeah."
   "Are you finished finding amusement in my story, or shall I continue?"
   I roll my eyes.  "Uh-huh, go on."
   "My father, Luothor, made it his mission to seek out all the Fae DeJinn and take their power.  When he and his armies could not seem to figure out how to harness their powers, he became enraged and the battle that ensued was the worst in the history of Fae, save for the battle against the Famorians.  For all of their great powers the Fae DeJinn were peaceful, they were not creatures of war, but creatures of wishes, as I said, they ruled through love, the love of their people, the love their people had for them.  Even with their powers, they were overtaken by my father's greater forces and his bloodlust.  He slaughtered them all...he and his armies, and he took over the Court of Dark and Shadows."
   "So," I murmur, "He killed my people."
   "Yes..."
   I gulp, "And...and...you...you did to."
   Branuel nods, "I am my father's son, midnight flower."
"He had no choice, amour.  You did not know Luothor Or De A'lanuel...Branuel would have had no choice.  He could not have stood against his father."
   "Don't talk to me, Chamuel.  I don't want to talk to you right now.  And there are always choices."
   "You hate me now, midnight flower." And Branuel sounds so utterly defeated.
   I take a few deep breaths.  "Honestly, I don't know what I feel right now, Branuel, except exceptionally sad...heartbroken even." Then I see the look in his eyes and my blood runs cold.  "Oh dear God, don't tell me there's more."
   "You are a royal Fae DeJinn," Branuel says simply.
   "Uh-huh...okay, that's doesn't mean much to me, Branuel."
   "It should," he murmurs.  "There is no doubt in my mind that you are the daughter of Avershin Ter Caipaine."
   "Who The Who?" I hear a gasp and look over at Chamuel. "Wait," I say, do you know who he's talking about, Chamuel?"
Chamuel swallows and nods. He turns his attention to Branuel. "Are you certain? Are you truly certain of this?"
"Yes," Branuel says simply.
"I..." Chamuel looks distressed. "I don't understand why The Graces wouldn't have told me this...this of all things. It makes sense, now that you say it, and yet...yet...it would have made things so much simpler if I'd known. Why wouldn't they have told me?"
"Would someone care to fill me the fuck in here?" I snap. I'm beyond testy at this point. They continue to ignore me.
"Would it though?" Branuel asks Chamuel.
"Would knowing have changed anything for you, or for her? I happened so long ago...and...she was already Earth bound. How would knowing such a thing have made a difference?"
"YES!" Chamuel shouts showing a rare amount of anger. "Yes, it would have. I might have approached her differently had I known. I could have introduced her to Fairy differently."
"And perhaps that is why your precious Graces failed to tell you. Are you not the one that says HE makes no mistakes, and does everything for a reason? Have you also not said that your Graces are complicated?"
"Yes, but—"
"—No, look how she has taken my information so far...look at the anger she already harbors for me...for my father, a man she never knew, thank the Goddess for that. This...this would have set us back. Perhaps she would not have even come to me at all."
"STOP!" I suddenly shout. "Stop talking about me like I'm not fucking here. What the hell is going on? And who the hell is this Avershin dude, well, I mean you claim that I'm his daughter. But I know nothing of that fact. I mean, my father abandoned us when I was born. He couldn't handle having a Treader daughter...a freak for a kid."
"And who told you that, my midnight flower?" Branuel asks.
"Well..." I frown, "...I just...I just always assumed that was the case. He was never in my life. And my mother...Gods, she was always so sad, heartbroken when any mention of him would come up. I learned early not to say or ask about him. She would just," and I fight to hold back the tears at the memory, "...she would just wilt. It was like all the light she harbored in her would die a little. I assumed it was because she loved him and he left."
"He did leave, my midnight flower." Branuel rolls his shoulders again and his eyes get a hard look to them. "Please, I need you to once again hear me out, and reserve your judgment until you have heard all."
"I'm..." and I hate to say it, but I must, "...I'm kinda losing it over here, guys. This is A LOT to have heaped on me. Now you're telling me that I have a father that I never knew and that he was..." I look intently at Branuel, "—A Fae DeJinn, I'm assuming, correct? I mean, if I'm a Fae DeJinn, but my mother was an Angel, then it stands to reason that my father must have been the Fae DeJinn."
"Correct, midnight flower."
"And you said he left..."
"Yes, but not in the way that you always assumed. He died, midnight flower."
I chew on my lower lip. Was knowing he died better than having assumed all of my life that he'd abandoned my mother and me? I guess it sorta was. However now, now I felt a deep sadness in the knowledge that I had had a father that I had never gotten to know. A father that may have been able to shed some light on my abilities and have taught me the ways of the Fae DeJinn. Because, let's face it, I was sorta totally fucking clueless when it came to this Genie stuff.
"Well...I guess I know why my mother was so sad now. She must have loved him very much."
"She did, midnight flower, nothing, nothing would have torn her from his side except for one thing." I wait. "You," he says.
I draw back. "What? Me? I'm the reason she was separated from him?"
Branuel now looks deeply uncomfortable. "Remember what I said a moment ago, midnight flower, and listen please now to my words."
"Okaaaay," I draw out the word. "I'm ready, hit me." And I gasp when Branuel does just that. I bring a hand to my stinging cheek and glare at him. "Why the hell did you do that, dickhead?"
"You said to hit you, flower. Did you not wish for me to hit you?"
"OH MY GOD!" I throw up my hands in disgust. "You are just...ugh, its an expression, asshole. It means to lay it on me, to tell me. I didn't mean for you to actually fucking hit me." To his credit his looks slightly abashed, and then that arrogant look is back on his face.
"Then you should not have said such a thing."
"Oh Jesus!"
"Please, beloved, stop with HIS name and HIS sons name."
I roll my eyes. "So freaking sensitive. I think I'm allowed to say it, the asshole just hit me, Chamuel."
"And you did say to do so. And you know that the Fae are very literal."
    Okay. So I did know that. But it seemed I kept forgetting it. All righty then, I'd have to be more careful in the future or I was going to end up a lot worse than just hit by Branuel's hand.
"Fine, fine," I say, "I'll watch my quaint Earth sayings from now on. Now can you tell me what is going on...oh...without the hitting part."
   "You are the daughter of Avershin Ter Caipaine, he was one, if not, the strongest of the Fae DeJinn...he held the seat of king of the the Court of Dark and Shadows."
   "Oh my Go—gosh, he was the King of this court?"
   "Please my midnight flower, let me finish."
   I wave my hand. "Sorry, sorry go on."
   "You are technically a princess, midnight flower, no, in fact, you are a princess, even with the death of your father, that fact remains.  The war for supremacy, as it is called in our history, was long and bloody...terribly so.  The Fae DeJinn put up a good fight, even though they lacked the knowledge of warfare that my father and his armies had at their disposal.  My father began with the lower court taking them apart, and killing them first.  He then moved to the lower caste of Fae DeJinn since they were now unprotected by the Court.  He left the High Court and...and...your father and his Guard for last."
I'm beginning to feel a sick feeling in my stomach as the knowledge creeps into me.
   "Your mother she was not supposed to fall in love, at least I do not believe she was supposed to fall in love with your father.  Angels they rarely leave the Heavens especially the Host."  I see Chamuel nod at that. 
   "It is true, beloved, Angels do leave at times, but never for long, and almost never members of The Host.  They are too important to the Heavenly Guard to be spared to other realms."
   "But somehow they met, and fell in love and conceived you.  We know from our history that Avershin Ter Caipaine had a Queen, that must have been your mother.  A Queen he apparently adored, and doted on, loved beyond measure.  Now that we know it was your mother and that she was a member of The Host it is safe to assume that she was also a warrior, and would have fought by his side but for one thing..."
   "She was pregnant with me..." I murmur.
   "Correct.  It was clear that the war was stacked in my father's favor, as more and more of the Fae DeJinn fell to his sword.  Your father would never how allowed your mother, warrior or not, to fight and perhaps die with him knowing she carried the most precious thing in the world to him...you.  He must have sent you to Earth to escape the carnage.  And there you remained until the happenings of the last month drew you back to us...to Fairy."
My head is reeling.  My father hadn't abandoned us! He hadn't left because he didn't love us.  In fact, he'd loved us so much he'd sent us away to die alone, to die horribly alone.
My heart is aching and I feel wetness roll down my cheeks.  I hate crying.  God. I hate to cry so much.  But this...this is too much.
"Was it...was it horrible?" I ask softly. "Did he...did he suffer?" And the tears fall more freely.
"Gradh bi," Branuel says.
"No, don't invoke your Goddess, Branuel. Tell me." I say.
"Cha bhith thu airson faighinn a-mach mu dheidhinn seo."
"I DO WANT TO KNOW!" I shout suddenly. "Don't tell me I don't want to know. Tell me, Branuel Or De A'lanuel, you tell me now, did he suffer?"
Branuel swallows—hard. "It...it was a hard death, midnight flower, yes."
"And did you...you..." I can't even get the words out. He must read the question on my face because he suddenly bursts from his chair and is kneeling in front of me almost in supplication.
"NO! No, my midnight flower, my queen, I did not kill him."
"Your father?"
"Yes. My father slayed your father. And I...I took out his Guard."
"All of them," I say almost in a whisper now.
Branuel nods and hangs his head. "Yes. All of them. They fought bravely, nobly for their King, but I...I..."
"You're a born bloody psychopath...so you wiped them out."
He lifts his head, and his eyes are so sad. I have to harden my heart to the sadness I see there in his bright orbs. "My flower...it was a battle. It was my...my...duty."
"Your duty?" I say incredulously.
"Yes, to my father. I earned my place that day. My father, regardless of the fact that I was his only son, did not name me his heir until that awful day."
I suck in a breath, and close my eyes. "You made it possible for your father to kill my father, Branuel."
"I...I...I did what I was trained to do, flower. And who is to say that he wouldn't have been taken down even if he had his Guard."
I cover my eyes to hide the tears. "Who is to say...who is to say..." I wipe the tears from my eyes and give him a hard look. "Well...there is no one left of my people to say a thing is there...because of you and your fucking father."
"Flower..."
"Don't, please just don't, Branuel. I...I..." I take a deep breath. "I need some time. I am...I am...God, I don't even know what I am right now. Furious, heartbroken, torn and unsure...I don't know."
Branuel reaches for my hands and I pull them away. "No...no...please midnight flower, my beautiful queen, please, I beg you...I have never begged anything of anyone, but I beg you to not turn from me. I beg you."
"Turn from you..." My heart aches. "That's the thing...I'm heartbroken and furious, Branuel, but so damned confused too, because, because I am still drawn to you, despite all of this, despite this horror I can't get away from this....this...stupid pull I feel toward you. And, right now, I fucking hate it. I hate hate it. I want to rail and scream and tear your apart, and yet, I also...feel like I should be comforting you as well. And I fucking hate it. Why the fuck should I comfort you? You fucking destroyed my family!"
"My father—"
"—Yes, yes, your father did the actual deed, but you helped. You said so yourself, you earned your fucking place by murdering my people, and helped in killing my father, you made getting to him easier. You played an awful part in the destruction of my family." Suddenly I'm so weary and worn. "But...I can't deny that there is something...something..."
"Yes, my flower?" Branuel says hopefully.
"I believed in the bond, Branuel...I was beginning to accept it...I was hopeful in fact."
"And now..."
"Now," I suck in a breath and bite my lower lip, "...Now I don't know. I don't know how I feel except so terribly horribly sad, and, and, confused...torn."
"Your pain tears at me," Chamuel says to my mind.
"I can't help it."
"I know. But it is no less heartbreaking to me, my amour. Please my beloved, please do not run."
"Run?"
"I can feel it from you. You wish to flee. You feel conflicted and are in so much pain. And you wish to run."
"So what if I do? Do I not have the right to...to...take some time to process this shit, Chamuel?"
"You can process it with us, my amour. Do not run from us."
"What if I'm just running from him, Chamuel?"
"Do not lie to me, amour. Please, do not lie to me. You may wish to flee because of the revelations that Branuel Or De A'lanuel revealed, but you would be running from all of us...pulling away from all of us in the end."
"Please..." Branuel implores. "Speak to me...do not hide your thoughts from me, midnight flower."
"She wishes to flee," Chamuel says sharply and I glare at him.
"NO!" Branuel shouts. "No, please do not run, my queen, do not run from me. I...I...need you."
"You've never needed anyone, Branuel and you know it. You're the indomitable, all mighty Branuel Or De A'lanuel, King of the Dark Court, a court taken in blood and battle. You don't need me."
"I DO!" Branuel then grabs my hands, refusing to let them go even when I tug at them. "I DO need you, my queen. I never believed I needed anything or anyone until I met you. You have changed everything for me. You have made it impossible for me to go back to the way I was before I met you. I cannot, I will not exist without you."
    And then I feel it, the tug, the pull at my heart, the stupid bond pulling me to him. Why, oh God, why did I have to be bonded to this man, this Fairy? What was God thinking, what was the Goddess thinking when they bonded us together. How could they have imagined that we could build a relationship, a life together with our past bogging us down.
"Because the past doesn't have to bring you down, amour."
"Stop reading my mind, Chamuel. Some thoughts are private."
"Your shields are faltering, amour, I cannot help it."
"Yeah whatever."
"It is the truth, amour. It is also the truth that you are correct...you have a right to your pain, even to your anger. You even have a right to feel conflicted and torn. But you said what was HE thinking, what was the Goddess thinking in bringing to the two of you together...did you not think that perhaps it was to bridge the pain of the past and to fix and heal the wrongs?"
"What?"
"Your father was once the King of the Court of Dark and Shadows, until Branuel Or De A'lanuel's father slew him. Now Branuel himself sits upon the throne his father once held, and is now the King of the court your father once held. When you bond with Branuel, when you complete the bond you will be his Queen...the rightful position that was always supposed to be yours. It is as if it has come full circle. Do you not see that, my beloved?"
"I only see that he helped kill my father." I say sharply and notice that Branuel winces.
"Oh beloved. Your pain is blinding you to your purpose."
"No, my pain is driving me forward." I yank my hands from Branuel's and stand up. "I'm done here."
"No, my flower—"
"—I didn't say done forever," I say coldly, "Just that I'm done...for now. I can't do anymore of this walk down terribly memory lane shit with you. I've reached my limit, hell perhaps forever. But I do know that if I stay here right now, I'll do a lot worse than slice you down your side, Branuel." And I narrow my eyes. "And now... with my wish power...you know I could do it."
"You...you will return, my midnight queen?" He looks devastated, and I hate that my heart feels pulled by his obvious pain.
"I...will try." I murmur. "Chamuel, I need to portal out of here. I can't stay here any longer."
"And where will you portal to?" Chamuel asks slowly, as if afraid of the answer.
"I'm going home, Chamuel."
"To...Terrenel's?"
"NO!" I say strongly, "I'm fucking going home. I'm going to MY home, my apartment."
"Your apartment is still being...fixed," Chamuel reminds me.
"Then, fuck!" I say, "I'll go to Walkers. Just get me the hell out of here, and get me back to fucking Earth. I just fucking want to be back on Earth. I just wish I were back on Earth." And suddenly, just like that, everything goes black and I disappear.