I noticed you at your ninja-turtle backpack (5sos fanfic)

Chapter 8

~~Ally's P.O.V~

I can't believe he asked me out, should I consider this a date? No I think that would be weird. I had to be perfect for tomorrow. I didn't know what to think of this, I was scared to be honest, I've never been on a date before. What if he likes me a bit too much... oh god... what if he expects me to hook up with him, I'm not ready, I've never even kissed a guy before to begin with. I was standing in front of my mirror looking at myself, "how does he like me?" I said out to my reflection. "I don't understand." I pulled up my hoodie sleeve. "This just proves it, why do you exist you fat moron." I just starred at myself, my cut up wrists, and I almost cried. I pulled up my hoodie to reveal my stomach, "ugh." I pulled it in, why can't I always be like this? I lost my breath and it came back out.

I need to look perfect, I'm not perfect but I must be. I don't know why I was thinking this way but that's when I went into the bathroom and stuck my finger as far down my throat till I felt my lunch come up and out, a bit of blood came out with it all, but I had to keep going, I repeated till I didn't have anything to throw up. I ran out crying. I opened secret little box and took out a blade I bought 5 years ago to cut poster board for a school project, Elijah wanted to take it away from me, but I knew if she did, she'd be the one using it, I tried so hard, I stayed clean for almost a year and a half, then mom died, dad was always drunk, and I was always alone with a sharp edge starring back at me.

"Why can't you be like those models on TV you worthless bitch!" I slit into my wrist, I watched the blood slip and I cut again, deeper this time, then even deeper the next, each time it was a reminder, you don't mean anything, you're a waste of oxygen. I heard singing coming from the hallway, my make up was running down my face and there was blood all over my bed sheets and pants, and there was no escape from Elijah walking in and seeing me.

And she walked in. "WHAT HAPPENED ALLY, ARE YOU OK!" The room smelled like blood and throw up, it was so awful. "Ally, what happened!" She was starting to cry. No don't cry. I thought "A boy asked me out." "ok and why are you crying then-- and cutting?" "He doesn't know what he's getting into, I'm not good enough for him, he's going to think I'm ugly and fat once he see's me, he's not going to want me when he sees my depression." "Who are you talking about, we've only been here for 2 days." "Luke." "Luke who?" "Luke Hemmings." "No but really who?" "Really, I know Luke Hemmings. I have his number look!" "Ugh can you just be serious, I thought you were really hurt." She walked out of the room into the kitchen really mad at me. Did she really think I was lying? We'll I would honestly think I was lying to if I were in her position. I just cut once more. "Ally, you are an idiot." I told myself as I let out one more tear.

Now Elijah hates me. I hate me, no one is left to love me, I want to die in a deep deep hole where no one would ever find me. I cut once more, right on the vein, blood started to gush out, moments later I felt lightheaded, I don't remember anything else.

I woke up in a hospital, I heard beeping, I heard Elijah's voice, my eyes were still shut. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Al, please wake up." I slowly opened my eyes and felt a strong grip on my chest, "YOU'RE AWAKE." "M'am, she needs to rest." I saw a nurse pull her off me. I fell back to sleep. I woke up the next day. Elijah was sitting with me all night wide awake. "Elijah, I'm so sorry." "No, no, no I am. I well called the number you had on your phone... Luke Hemmings picked up. He said hello, than I hung up, be- because I reali-" She started crying, I paused her. "It's ok, just get me out of here, I got a date at 5." "Luke didn't tell you, did he?" "Tell me what?" "Being a 5sos fan, I know that they are flying away from LA tonight at 8 to go to Nevada." "What?!" "Ok, ok, calm down." "You, you need to rest." I turned my head and started to cry, I knew I had to see him, I just had to no matter what it took.

"Ok, when I get back from work, I promise, I'll get you out in time for your date, be back in 2 hours." She gave me her work place business card in case I needed to call or something." It was already 9:00am and I hated it, too early for me, I almost went back to sleep till my phone buzzed. I slowly turned over to answer it. It was Luke. "Hey, you called last night and hung up, is everything ok?" "Yea, I'm good must of butt dialed you." He laughed. "So what's the oh so secretive location?" "I would of thought the word secretive would of made it more of a secret, but if you insist I'll tell you to wear something fancy." He paused to think,"like a dress." He sounded so seductive, like just asked me to go to prom with him, except like the way a confident jock would ask out a popular blonde with big boobs.

"Ok got it, see you at 5." I looked at my arms, no dress can cover that up. Do I wear a hoddie over it? No, I had to think quick, maybe make up will do, lots and lots of make up. Perfect. I'll just keep on my bandage from my really slit part and say I cut myself on a knife when cooking. Hand over heart I was praying he wouldn't notice, if he did, he'd run away faster than any 8 o-clock plane could take him.

Everything had to be perfect. I needed to be perfect, luckily after last night's "food give away" and eating no food since yesterday, I looked at least 5lbs less than before. My phone buzzed.

Luke: "Hey, my friend Michael wants to know if you know any places to get pizza."

I looked at Elijah's Business card. My heart started racing, I knew Michael was Elijah's favorite band member, I knew she loves her job at the pizza place and she's there right now. I texted him the pizza place address followed by, "Get there quick, my best friend is a huge Michael fan, she works here, she's the one with purple hair, it's pretty important, I owe her big time for something she did for me, like BIG! I don't know what better way to repay her than her favorite band member showing up at her job space, I owe you so much if you do this for me:)" He messaged back quickly:

Luke: "Consider it done, Mikey is already out the door as long as it's good pizza."

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If you could comment and favorite this fan fic I would love dat!! Next Chapter is a bit different, It will be a Elijah P.O.V, then a Michael one, I'll do that once in a while, those chapters are for my best friend. :) you know who you are.