Echoes in the darkness

sudden death

Namjoon's POV

I hadn't spoken a word in days. Not since the accident. I feel like everything around me is just foreign to me .
My stomach was grumbling probably begging me to throw in some food as I hadn't eaten in days. I hadn't made a single effort to move and take a shower. I'm starting to smell really bad . I was a complete mess . If i would look at myself in the mirror i wouldn't recognize it . Everything happened so suddenly

I didn't expect this to happen . why me ? I never wanted to lose her i don't have a choice now do i ? She was my everything I can't function without her . I was broken and she fixed me she tried with everything she got and never gave up on me .
She helped me get over every miserable thing that happened in my life. What was I going to do without her ? I'm so reliant on her in everything in life .

She cooked my food . She did my laundry she would stay up late and take care of my sick ass . She made me feel human again and now she's gone just like that . The hardest part about losing someone you love is not the goodbye it's learning how to live without them . At the beginning it would hurt like hell the kind of pain that's indescribable.

That's what I'm feeling right now I want to feel physical pain in order to forget about the emotional one . It's almost 4 am and i haven't slept yet . I can't seem to close my eyes . Something is holding me back . Maybe the fact that I'm so used to sleeping beside her that it's difficult for me to rest. Everything just reminds me of her even her smell still lingers in the tiny bedroom.

Flashback
"Namjoon baby wake up it's almost 9 o'clock you're gonna get late to your job " hyejin scolded me softly. Her voice barely loud . I groaned as i tossed and turned. I don't want to go to my job today but i guess i have to ugh I fucking hate being poor . It sucks.

"Ok just 10 more minutes with you between my arms and i promise you I'll get up . "
" isn't that what you say every day then end up being late ? I swear your boss will fire you and we'll end up homeless. " she pouted and gave me those puppy eyes i guess she really wants meto get up. i can't refuse anything she says.

I'm so in love with her that when she gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom i just wake up and wait for her to come back so we can cuddle , her presence makes me feel sane . I'm so afraid of losing her .

END of flashback
That's what i was afraid of . LOSING HER . But my biggest fear came true and she's no longer here .
Who will i wake up to in the morning. Who will hug me and tell me everything will be okay when I'm down .
I never thought about this day I'm not ready .

I guess that's the thing about death you never know when It'll come and take away the most important and precious person in your life. Death is so cruel .