MEET UP
The best love story is when you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time. What a horny world we live in. Rita's husband, walked away from her leaving her sad, desolate, bleak and abandoned. Three years into their relationship they both had found nothing attractive in each other. The following is part of my experience the woman of my life: madam wa Harrier
In the weirdest of thoughts, never had it ever crossed my mind that a rich lady can one day get attracted to my ugly face. Rita, must be among the few women who come from the school of thought, 'ugly ones are the best'. How she ended up liking me is what I have never cracked till today.
Rita, a voluptuous, exquisite, charming middle aged lady, one day approached me at the parking lot. 'Sasa?' She greeted me as she signaled me towards her car: a black harrier.'Tafadhali nisaidie kujump start gari yangu' she requested. Rita thought that since I live in the same flat I own a car.'Wait a moment!!! Must all people who live in affluent backyards own cars? I rushed up to Johnny's apartment. I woke up Johnny to assist me with his car Keys. Johnny was my immediate neighbour, who's waking up schedule started past 11am on Sundays. He quickly handed me the keys through the door hole and I left to offer assistance. Just to remind you, this is work of fiction. The names, characters and locations used are work of fiction. Any resemblance to real people or places is coincidental. So us we be at par, be reminded that this work is not suitable for adults who still suck their thumbs. You are therefore advised to stop here.
'Thank you so so much, am grateful' she thanked me as we exchanged numbers. She drove off. It was a Sunday morning, quite chilly and most of my neighbors had not woken up. I don't know if it's a Kenyan culture but Sunday mornings are always quie. It was the first time I met Rita, she told me she had seen me twice or thrice going up the stairs. As a man of God, I never bother looking at peoples wives when we have a whole array of young fine ngeos in the back yard. I returned the Keys to Johnny and left for church, though very late.
At about 8pm that evening, twi! twi! 0IGO67766MDT 6,000 RECEIVED FROM RITA WAMBUI. NEW MPESA BALANCE 6001. While I was trying to think who this could be a text followed, 'Thanks dear. Hio ni ahsante kwa kuninsaindia asubui. Nytz'.(Am grateful for the assistance you offered me in the morning) 'You are welcome. Good night too'. I replied. I placed away the phone and started thinking on how to utilise the money. Before I could finish subdividing it in my head, my phone vibrated again. 'Kwani hujalala dear. Unadu?' (You haven't slept, what are you upto?) Rita responded. 'Ndo metoka bafu nataka kulala sasa. Meshukuru kwa mpesa'(Am from the shower, thanks for the money) I replied. 'wish ngekua tuoge pamoja'(I wish I was around we shower together)......What could this mother be up to? I asked myself. I never took offence with how she used the word 'dear' until the showering together txt came in. I put my phone on silent and slept
Given that I slept late, I woke up at 10am, peed and came back to sleep. After all I was 6001 shillings rich. I did not catch sleep again. I was evaluating the teams to place a bet on when my mulika mwizi lighting. It was Rita. 'Leo umeamua hutapik kols zangu?' (why aren't you picking my calls) she started. 'Pole nilikua nimetoka ndo hata nimerudi' (Sorry I was out)I lied. After a short talk she told me she will call me at lunch break. After she hanged I found 3 missed calls and 2 messages. One of it, 2030 Mpesa transfer and the other a confirmation that the money is meant for my breakfast. I quickly bought airtime from Mpesa and called her. 'Sorry Madam,' I started. 'Nimekuambia usiniite madam'(Dont call me Madam) she interrupted angrily.
'Sasa Wambu?'(Hi Wambui) I started again. 'Poa sana... Yaani huwezi hata niita dear?'(Fine, Call me dear instead) she inquired. We talked until my bamba 20 was depleted. Its then I realized she was up-to something. 'But what if her husband learns of this?' I asked myself. I tried to avoid her by all means but she was persistent...Sometime way past midnight. One night, while we were chatting, she opened up and told me she is not married. I knew this is a trap to have me fill in the empty space.
