Baby pt. 2 | Seonghwa ATEEZ ff |

Ch 7

I have no energy to do anything but cry in bed. The same day blood ran down from my area Seonghwa immediately took me to the hospital and they told us what we already knew..... we lost our baby. It's been 2 weeks since then and I still don't have the courage to tell Mi Sun especially since she was so happy to be a big sister, it breaks my heart.

Mi Sun runs into my room with her school uniform on "I'm going to school now" she says I try my best to wipe away my tears and show a smile "behave, I love you so much okay" I say she nods jumping on the bed to hug me "I love you too mommy" I smile hugging her tightly. Seonghwa walks in with Mi Sun's backpack "ready to go" he says Mi Sun runs to him "I'll be back soon" Seonghwa says and I nod.

I continue to cry and Seonghwa eventually returns from dropping off Mi Sun at school. He walks in the room and lays down pulling me into a hug. He pats my back and slow tears fall from his eyes. Theirs times were silence is better than talking it out and this is one of those times. Words can't explain the amount of pain comes from losing a baby, not just any baby, your baby. A baby that I never got to meet, a baby I never got to see grow up.

"We shouldn't be sad forever" Seonghwa says "Seonghwa" I say in a tone that has a bit of irritation "I know, I'm not saying we should forget that this happened I'm saying we need to be happy again and continue life" Seonghwa says. It's true, we can't stay sad forever it's unhealthy, but I'm just not ready it's to much pain. "I know it just hurts.." I say "it was my baby too...... we have to bare this together but your getting sick from this sadness" he says and my eyebrows furrow. I place my hand on my head and it's burning. "You need to eat.... you only eat like once a day" he says "I don't feel like it" I say "that doesn't matter your getting sick" Seonghwa continues to nag.

The door gets knocked on and I look at Seonghwa "expecting anyone" I ask he shakes his head "no but I'll get it" he offers before leaving. I wipe my tears in case I have to get up and greet who ever it is. I sit up and pat down my messy hair. 8 boys slowly pile in my room with balloons, flowers and chocolate. This is the first time they've knocked usually they just bust in the house. "How are you doing" Jongho ask's sitting on the bed next to me "I could be better" I say he nods "we're sorry you both have to go through this" Hongjoong says "it's okay" Seonghwa says "we ordered breakfast for all of us...." Yunho says "yeah we really don't want to burn down your house this time" Wooyoung says making me smile.

The sad tension slowly goes away and I got up for the first time in a couple of days leave my room and go into the dining room and eat breakfast. Yeosang is the first to attempt small talk "sooo Sorin do you like Stray Kids comeback back door" he says  and I smile thinking of the song and the amazing people that preform it. "I love it, they did amazing I texted Hyunjin immediately after I saw it" I say "the song was alright" San says "shut up your build like a  dorito" Mingi says. I laugh making the rest smile and laugh too. I missed the feeling of being happy even if this is a brief moment.

Later that night I sit with Mi Sun as she does her hw. My hands shake because I'm scared to tell her that her future sibling pasted away. Seonghwa grabs my hand making me look at him "do you want me to do it" he offers I shake my head. I want to do it.... it'll be my closure to continue on but never forget. I sit Mi Sun on my lap and she smiles to me. Okay maybe I can't do this. "Mi Sun remember how I told you, you were going to be a big sister" I say she nods "well umm" the door bell rings and I eternally sigh......

So tomorrow is I-lands last episode and I'm not ready. I know for a fact I'm going to cry not matter what. Anyways I love you so much thank you for reading!!!
💜💜💜