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"when you don't know how much time there is, how do you know what to do with it?"
***
TIME IS A FUNNY THING WHEN DEALING WITH ILLNESS. The Kyotani family struggled with that aspect of Keni's cancer.
Well, Kentaro didn't struggle with it as much as the Kyotani parents did.
They knew all their daughter wanted in the world was to watch volleyball games and be with her brother, no matter if she was dying or not.
She wanted to be happy.
But all her parents wanted to do was sob and hold their daughter. Almost as if they knew she was going to die. Even almost as if she was already gone.
They had a strange feeling of grief already, despite the fact that Keni's condition had slowly been improving.
But anything can happen in a moment. When she stopped breathing they had feared that they had run out of time before they could even think of it.
How do parents gauge time when their child might die at any moment?
Only a few days after Keni had woken up, Kirota approached her daughter's bed while shakily fiddling with her hands.
"Keni, baby." she whispered, hoping her daughter was awake.
"Yeah?" she said weakly.
Kirota kneeled down to Keni's eye level and grabbed her daughter's hand.
"I love you very much. Never forget that okay?" she said while squeezing the girl's hand.
"I love you too, Mom." she said. "Why do you talk to me like I'm gonna die?"
Nothing in the world could've prepared Kirota for that question. She felt a massive hole being drilled through her brain, leaving her head filled with nothing but sorrow and pain.
"I just don't know what'll happen, you know? I believe that you'll live a long and happy life, but I'm a mother. I worry. I have two beautiful children, I can't imagine losing one of you. I have to remind you because I never know what'll happen." she said as reared welled up in her eyes.
"I'm gonna live. I know that I'm going to live." Keni said. "I have to. I can't leave Kentaro behind. We're gonna play volleyball." she said.
Kirota smiled as tears stained her cheeks pink. She let out a small laugh and squeezed her daughter's hand once more.
