Always on the Run

12. Incognito

Hi guys, I hope you're all having a great week. Here is an update from me again. I hope you enjoy. If all goes well I hope to update again on the weekend. Emphasis on the 'if all goes well'. I do have Monday off so it's possible. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I loved writing it. <3

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Staring at the door, I close my eyes, breathe deeply and reach for the handle. The moment my hand touches it, I pull it back just as quickly as though burnt. My eyes snap open again. I stare up at the ceiling and release a slow, steady breath. It’s not that hard, really. I just have to turn the handle.

Looking back at the door again, I stare at it intently. You can do this, Teresa. Just go in there and throw away the gifts. Easy. You know you have to do this.

My heart breaks at the thought. How am I supposed to do it? It’s like being told to murder your beloved kitten.

It’s taken me a whole week to get to this point. Yes that’s right…one long week. Why has it taken so long? Well quite frankly, I’ve been putting it off. At first I just wanted to enjoy being home and doing my own thing. I actually wasn’t a slave and it felt good. Then when the time came to do the dreaded, I just couldn’t muster up the courage. The thought not only made me feel sick but it also sent me into a panic.

It’s official. I’ve got it bad. In hindsight, I really don’t fully understand why or how such a thing as wedding gifts became an addiction. It just happened. I always blamed Marcus and my broken heart but I realise now I was looking for an excuse. After all it’s not your average addiction. Is there really such a thing as an average addiction? I suppose there is. Smoking would be considered an ‘average addiction’ because it’s so prevalent. My addiction is…strange. I mean Jamie laughed at me that time and he had a right to. It’s weird.

Yet there’s just something about it. The feel of the paper. The expectation of what lays beneath. Even the smell! You know how books have that smell? It’s intoxicating, right? Well gifts are the same. It must be the paper that has a certain smell to it. Closing my eyes I breathe in and I swear I can smell it.

My breathing hitches and my senses heighten. My eyes open again and I feel an animalistic side of me wake up. Oh stuff it. Who says I have to deal with this right now? I’ve got time, right? If I open just one gift it’ll put me in a better frame of mind.

My internal thoughts are screaming ‘no’ but I push them aside. I grab the doorhandle and barge into the spare room. See how much easier it is when there’s no dread involved? Flicking the light switch on, I breathe in sharply and exhale slowly at the beauty surrounding me. You know how you feel when you see a breathtaking view?

Take a sunset on the ocean. Imagine standing on the shore, the cold water lapping at your feet. The salty breeze invades your senses, the cool breeze whips through your hair and you watch in awe as the golden globe gradually sinks lower in the sky, illuminating the horizon with hues of orange, yellow and pink. Then when the sun disappears it leaves a brilliant sunset in its wake.

As you look higher above the horizon, you see the dark blue of the night sky which grows darker the higher you go. Then you see the first star twinkling and as the sunset disappears, more stars appear. It’s absolutely stunning.

So with this image in mind, you can imagine how I’m feeling right this moment. In my mind the view before me is just as brilliant. If not better. The room has that particular smell about it and the shiny paper on the variety of gifts glint like stars in the night sky.

Without another thought, I rush into the room and pick up the first gift I find—a large rectangle box. This one is wrapped in silver paper, which has wedding rings, love hearts and bells embossed into it. My fingers tingle under the embossed paper and electric currents surge through my body. Too desperate to wait, I rip the paper off and gasp in delight at the shiny new blender staring at me. And it’s not just your bog standard blender too. It’s a Nutri Ninja Pro blender.