Cookie

14

I knocked on my mom's door, carefully balancing a tray of hot chocolate, brownies, and potato chips-the kind she used to prepare for our heart-to-heart talks. When I heard her call me in, I slowly opened the door, and her face lit up at the sight of my snack-laden tray. She knew what it meant: I was ready to talk.

We settled on her big bed, the tray placed between us. With steaming mugs in our hands, she smiled at me with her warm, green eyes. I took a deep breath and began.

"That was Liam," I started. "After training, he wanted to make sure I got home safely."

Mom nodded thoughtfully, sipping her hot chocolate.

"I already like this boy," she said, chuckling. "Wants to teach you to defend yourself, calls your dad to ask permission to train you, walks you home... Seems like he cares."

I felt her gentle squeeze on my hand, instantly calming me.

"Do you like him, honey?" she asked softly, emphasizing the word like. It was clear that her question wasn't about what everyone else thought-only how I felt about him mattered.

I closed my eyes, trying to make sense of my emotions, and shook my head slightly. "I don't know, Mom. I'm so confused, I can't even tell if I like him or not."

Her hand remained on mine, a steady comfort. "Why don't you tell me what you like about him?" she prompted.

I paused, considering my response. I had to explain how Liam had defended me without revealing all the details I wasn't ready to share. So, I made something up, hoping she'd get the general idea.

"Look, guys make stupid jokes and pranks all the time at school, you know how they are..." I shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal-like it didn't frustrate me to no end.

Mom was used to hearing about school pranks, especially from Criss during our freshman year, so I knew she understood the context.

"This year, a few guys tried to mess with me, but Liam-he defended me in a way no one ever has before. Every time he walks into a room, he looks for me first. Even when he's with his girlfriends, he's always watching out for me."

"Girlfriends?" Mom raised an eyebrow, her expression turning serious.

I quickly continued, trying to steer the conversation. "I'll explain in a sec, just let me finish."

I took a deep breath and pushed through my nerves.

"He offered to train me because, honestly, I couldn't even throw a punch. He didn't have to, but he did. He could've easily minded his own business. And he always sits with me in every class we have together. I think he might do it because he copies from me, but even in computer science, he sat next to me-and Mom, he's so much better than I am with computers."

She looked at me with a deep frown, unsure how to feel about all this. "And his jokes-they make me blush, Mom. Every time. At first, I thought he was just teasing me, but then he apologized, saying he was only trying to make me laugh. He said I don't laugh enough and that he likes seeing me happy. He calls me cookie."

I laughed softly, remembering how awkward I'd felt when he first called me that. Now, I loved it. His voice would get all husky, his eyes soft, and I couldn't help but feel special whenever he said it.

"Cookie, huh?" Mom smirked, catching my embarrassed blush. "I thought I heard him say something like that earlier, but I didn't want to jump to conclusions. Sounds like it's a little private between the two of you."

I flushed even more, remembering how he looked at me when he called me that. Mom had always been open with me and Criss about everything, including sex, and I'd never felt embarrassed to talk to her about it. Still, this conversation felt different.

She had always taught us that sex wasn't something to fear or be ashamed of-it should be something special and beautiful, shared with the right person. She gave us the facts, always emphasizing the importance of safety and mutual respect. Criss had even gone through her first time with Luke, and Mom never scolded her for it-she just made sure Criss was ready and protected.

"Mom!" I said, trying to move the conversation forward. "Liam doesn't have any private meaning behind 'cookie.' Can you stop making me feel awkward and just listen to me?"

She laughed, crumbs of brownies spilling onto the bed. "So, he's good-looking and treats you well-he's a hot friend. But what's this about his 'girlfriends'? What's the deal, Nat?"

I sighed, feeling a knot tighten in my chest. "He doesn't date. He told me from the start he doesn't want to commit to anyone. But even so, girls are always around him. Like, every break, there's a new girl sitting on his lap or kissing him. They literally come up to him and ask him to meet after class to, you know, hook up."

Mom's face turned serious. "So he's the school's player, huh? That's why you're so confused about your feelings. You like him, but he's not looking for anything serious."

I nodded. "That's what I thought. He offered me his friendship from the start, and even though he teases me every day, I thought he wasn't interested in anything more. But, Mom, tonight he said something that made me think he might like me."

Mom raised her eyebrows. "What did he say?"

I told her everything-how Liam had said he wouldn't lie to me about what he could offer, how he had loved to take a taste but knew I wasn't the kind of girl who would just sleep with him.

Mom's eyes widened as I spoke. She sat back, clearly thinking it all over. "He definitely is interested in you, but I don't know if it's the kind of interest you actually need."

I closed my eyes, feeling disappointed. I had hoped she'd tell me something different.

"Look, Nat," she continued, her tone soft but firm. "Liam might want a physical relationship, but he's also shown that he cares about you-he's done things for you, defended you. That means something. But he's not offering a romantic relationship, just friendship."

I nodded, the empty feeling growing inside me. "But what do I do with how I feel, Mom? I find him so attractive..."

Mom smiled softly, placing a hand on my cheek. "Even I think he's attractive, honey. He's a handsome boy. But attraction doesn't mean love. Just because you find him good-looking doesn't mean you're in love with him."

My thoughts tangled even more. He liked me, I liked him-but we wanted different things. It didn't seem like it could go anywhere, but Mom was suggesting we could be friends.

"So you want me to be his friend, even though I like him?" I asked, still unsure. "That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen."

"Honey, you just met him. You've never had a guy friend before, and that's why it's confusing. I think you might be confusing friendship with romantic interest. Try being friends with him. Maybe, in time, you'll realize it's just friendship-and if that's the case, you'll still have a good friend. If you're sure you want more, then you can step back. But don't lose his friendship just because you're unsure about your feelings."

I thought about her words, and then about what Mary and Alicia had said. Maybe it was just friendship. Maybe my feelings had gotten mixed up because Liam was so attractive.

That night, I went to bed feeling a little clearer. I could be friends with Liam, even if I had feelings for him. He'd offered me his friendship, and I wanted to take it. And I wanted him to know I had his back, too.

Before I drifted to sleep, I sent him a text.

"Thank you for being my friend, Liam. Just wanted to remind you that I'm here if you need anything. Good night, superhero."

I smiled when I saw his reply.

"What I need right now, Nataly, is a soundproof room because Mary is sleeping over again. Can you help with that? 😅 Good night, cookie."

I laughed to myself, feeling better about everything before I finally drifted off to sleep.